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Wednesday 17 August 2016

DON'T BE AN ASS

Everybody has a cross or two of some sort to bear. Some crosses are small, others huge. Some people
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make crosses bigger than they have to be. Others seem to " manage" whatever is thrown at them with ease. But the thing is we are all weighed down by something.

 Last night I spent quite a while "chatting" to an old friend who flits in and out of my life regularly. His kids have exhausted him physically, mentally and I'm guessing financially. All are adults and all have mental health/ drug related issues. All I could do was listen and hope that God would give me the right words, even though nothing I could say would take away the pain. That one I know from experience. It is simply a large cross to bear and you just (as my friend said) " keep moving on". Incidentally he found time to ask about my crosses. Nice guy. That's why we're still friends after 30 years.

In a cross of a different kind, this morning I found that an ex student of mine was being trolled online. The woman and young mother is very talented and restores old furniture. It's not the sort of work that would appeal to everyone, but most people have a brain and keep their mouth shut if her work is not for them. Not today though. Two women went out of their way to tell this woman her work is rubbish and deserves to be binned. What good comes from hurting people like that? If you don't like it keep your mouth shut and move on. Adding crosses to the load this woman undoubtedly already has...not cool at all.
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And continuing on...as I left a shopping centre today a young mum with a look of death on her face and a toddler in a pram, side swiped me. The expression on her face never changed and nor did I get an apology. Hmm, I'm guessing that the child was the cause of the problem, the cross to bear. But, walking around ramming people with your pram isn't going to fix much is it? No need to be an ass to others just because you're having a bad day. 

And then I look at my family and our never ending health issues and how they impact on family who support us. For eight years, my younger daughter has really struggled with a sister and mother in and out of hospital and in and out of danger. It's been a huge cross to bear for one so young, but she continues to persevere with grace and resilience. Her life can be really tough sometimes but watch her interact with others and you would never know. While she shares the load of her crosses with those near and dear, she doesn't make others pay for them.

A friend just called in and I told her the subject of this post. She told me that 5 months ago her boss asked her to do a particular task. Once completed my friend received no feedback and secretly suspected her boss hadn't really given it a look. Today her boss told her in no uncertain terms that the work she did 5 MONTHS AGO was unsuitable. Not only was she spoken to inappropriately but now my friend has an additional cross to bear as she is already snowed under with other work. I'm "guessing" someone was in a bad mood or forgot to take her happy pills, but seriously 5 months later!!!

I'm in to morals lately, so here are the morals of these stories:

  1. Having a cross to bear does not give you the right to be an ass. Be nice to each other, people! As the saying goes, " if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing". And if you decide to ignore this and talk anyway, speak to people with a respectful tone.
  2. Your cross might be heavier than someone else's but it still doesn't give you the right to be an ass. Smiling, saying sorry for ramming people with your pram and asking after others are acceptable non- ass behaviours.
Let me know what you think in the comments.

Till next time...xxx

9 comments:

  1. Don't be an ASS. To anyone. Ever. Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. I agree!!

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  2. So well stated. It is amazing what a difference it makes not allowing oneself to be a victim of (whatever circumstances). I learned this a long time ago and I am still learning it today.

    Kathleen
    Bloggers Pit Stop

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  3. Kathleen Aherne your comment is so true. Thanks for commenting.

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  4. I run into mean, rude and despicable Asses all the time. I feel sorry for them because they have to live with themselves 24-7. I only have to deal with them for one or two conversations a day.

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    1. That is a super way of thinking about it. Great coping mechanism.

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  5. This is so true. You never know what the other person is going through. It is best to just be nice.(Although it can be hard often)Lately, I am trying to find the lesson when these types of events happen to me. What am I meant to learn from this situation. That has helped me not take things so personal, which I have a habit of doing.

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  6. Like I always say... your problems are not an excuse for you to be a problem to other people... And everyone thinks their load is heavier than other people's. Be kind!

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  7. I LOVE this post and I'm reposting it on my Rock the Kasbah facebook page because this message is someone everyone needs to be reminded of!

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