NOT "BELLE" AT ALL

Posting on behalf of my daughter. Please read xxx ST

Dear Belle Gibson,

I want you to know that I am angry with you. I’m not actually angry. I’m infuriated beyond belief.

You have just come out telling The Australian Women’s Weekly that you lied about having terminal brain cancer. As a patient who has gone through 15 brain surgeries, numerous angiograms, hundreds of blood tests and many MRI scans, how dare you make money by lying about a hardship that many Australians like myself have to go through every single day?

Do you even know what it’s like for someone to have brain problems? I do. I'm 21 and I’ve been through 15 brain surgeries to fix my brain condition, and I am still needing to have more surgery in the coming months.  Each one of my surgeries has lasted on average 7 hours. Do you know how painful those 7 hours are for my family and friends? They’re the ones that are sitting in the waiting room at the hospital, refreshing their Facebook news feed to keep them entertained during the ordeal and nervously biting on every little last bit of their cuticles while messaging people who are wanting updates on how I am going.  It makes my heart sink every time they’ve waited for me while I’m in surgery.

How dare you make money off these innocent people? I, like many other people who suffer from a debilitating brain condition bought your app “The Whole Pantry.” I thought it would be good to try and make my lifestyle as healthy as possible. You said so yourself. You had terminal brain cancer. YOU survived, so I thought I could rid myself of illness as well. How idiotic I feel right now for believing you.  

How dare you blame your lies on your rough start to life. You give your excuse that you had “a difficult up bringing.” Although I did not have a rough start, I went through many problems in my adolescence- depression, bullying and severe acne just to name a few. But you know what Belle? I got help from my counsellor and my doctor. And today I am in a much happier place, with some good anti-depressants and acne cream to help me.

And now Belle Gibson, it’s time for you to get help yourself. Help to learn how to apologize to these people that you encouraged so much hope in, because you have upset so many people. My mum, a breast cancer survivor and a sufferer of Cowden’s Syndrome, which means she is at higher risk of  cancer. My Mother’s plastic surgeon who sees the devastating effects cancer can have on patients each day. He's furious. Myself - a fellow Cowden’s sufferer like my mum and a survivor of a severe brain condition.

I am ashamed to have wasted my money on your app. I am someone who believed in your lies. Someone that you instilled a glimmer of hope in.

Belle Gibson, all I can say is this to you.

How dare you?

ASHTON

MY PHOTO SHOOT

Tomorrow I have a photo shoot. Photos of my body will be taken for the pleasure of a select few. I will wear the latest in fashion and later feast on the best the earth can provide.

Yer right!

Let's start that again. Tomorrow I have an appointment for a colonoscopy and endoscopy where all the photos taken will be of my insides, and seen by my doctor. Having already cancelled before Christmas, I have no option but to attend this one. Couture of the day will be your normal blue gown, where your bottom hangs out if you forget to hold it discreetly. And it won't be fine dining. It will be a sandwich and yoghurt. It's always a bloody sandwich and yoghurt.

But before we get to the sandwich and yoghurt phase, I need to get through today. Today is day 2 of preparation. Yesterday was "no fibre" day. No fruit, veg, grains, just some meat and white flour products. It's amazing how unappealing white bread is after years of multigrain. I swear it just melts inyour mouth and tastes like sugar. 

Today after a lovely breakfast of more sugar tasting bread it's a liquid only diet. So far so good but there are distant rumblings and I know it's going to be a long day, one that will culminate in a date with the toilet bowl.

Enter my least favourite drug in the universe - picoprep. Sorry Fresenius Kabi ( what a name), but I'm not a fan. I know it's necessary but honest to goodness, it's like a human vacuum cleaner in a pill. As it says on the package it does a

bowel evacuation. Oh the indignity of it all. I'd rather evacuate the premises.

Because I have far too much time on my hands my brain wanders in many directions. Why is the package green? Green has a strong emotional connection with safety according to Dr Google. Hmm I think a browny/yellow colour may have been more apt in the circumstances.

But marketing people are quite savvy for safety is indeed the reason why I will subject myself to this drug in a few hours. Those of you who have been with me on this blog for a while now may remember  my first date with the gastroenterologist who will perform my procedures 
tomorrow. When I woke from the procedure, he sat by my side and told me had never seen anything like it before. My gastrointestinal system is like a foreign country with waves and waves of what initially looked like polyps. He said that I had literally hundreds upon hundreds of polyps and luckily at that stage I didn't know that normal people freak out if they have just one. What he had just seen was the blanket of hamartomas common 
in Cowdens syndrome patients.

Hamartomas are benign growths. They are not malignant tumours but do  grow along with, and at the same rate as, the organ from whose tissue they are made. Unlike cancerous tumors, they rarely invade or compress surrounding structures but it can happen. It's not very scientific to say this, but in my family if it's rare that will be us. So best they are monitored.

Amidst the hamartomas, polyps can be (and in me have been) found. Thank God all benign so far. The risk of colon cancer in CS sufferers is about 9%. Not sure what it is in non CS people but it's high enough for me to make sure I'm tested and my hamartomas and polyps are monitored.

The time has come to have a stand off with a glass of something that looks like milk...gross...I hate milk. Expecting the salty water taste I experienced the last time I went through this ordeal, I am pleasantly surprised. It's lemon ... a bitter lemon taste. The concoction is drinkable and I knock it off quickly. Now to sit and wait...or was that wait to ...? Yes, I know...not funny. Believe me, I'm not laughing.

Can't wait till tomorrow is over.

Till next time...xxx