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Thursday, 16 June 2016

I AM ENOUGH

WOW this is my 200th post. Who would have believed it when I started writing my blog, that I would still be going strong with over 3000 followers, three years later. Thank you all so much!

While doing some research on the number 200, I found that in the bible the symbolic meaning of 200 is of "insufficiency". So it is quite ironic that at this milestone post a writing group prompt this week is  " I am enough". At the ripe old age of almost 50 what better time to discuss my sufficiency or insufficiency?

So, AM I ENOUGH?

When I look back over my 200 posts they are littered with examples of insufficiency - too sick, too old, too fat, not enough money, no time to relax, no time to catch up with people and so on. The list could go on and on. But what I've learned in my forties is that these phrases only serve to make you feel insufficient. It's almost like there is a raised bar you have to reach for everything, and each time you fail to reach it, the self esteem fairies assault you and remind you that you are lacking. You are not enough. Here are some examples:

No time to catch up with old friends? Shame on you!
Eating toasted sandwiches for dinner! Oh the horror!
Had a day in your pyjamas and watched Netflix? What a waste of time!
Yelled at the kids? Mrs so and so would never do that!
Don't have the latest gadget? Social oblivion for you!
5kg overweight? You are so lazy.

Get the picture?

I'm not sure why we do this to ourselves. Who on earth is keeping tabs anyway? Another thing I've learned is that people you think may be judging you are too busy judging themselves. It's like when you walk into a gym and hide at the back so that the toned gym junkies don't critique you. In reality they are too focused on their own perceived failings to really care what you look like, or how badly you do on the cross trainer.

My last ten years have been harrowing and anyone who follows my blog or knows me personally will not deny this. But I hope that despite all the events that I have written about in my 200 posts, that people see beyond  the scars, the illness, the fears and yes even the whinges. I hope they see a woman who has grown to accept her situation and has come to terms with it.

Turning 50 is a milestone.
Writing 200 blog posts is also a milestone.

The biggest milestone however is reaching a point in your life where you accept what life has dealt you and you make the best of it. This is totally reflected by my favourite quote which I've mentioned many times in my 200 posts: WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS, MAKE LEMONADE. This quote reminds me that I don't need more of anything and I don't need to be more. I just need to carry on doing my best with what I have and realise that I am enough, just as I am.

Till next time...xxx
ST




27 comments:

  1. Liked the quote - there is nothing to prove and nothing to protect. I agree with you that we should carry on doing our best.

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    1. Yes I'm glad I found that one. 50 is a great benchmark to take it on board wholeheartedly!

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    2. Hi Suzy. Leeanne from Geraldton here. Talk about Ghosts from the past. I love this blog. I found it because I needed to remind myself that I have enough, I certainly DO enough and I am enough. That's what led me to you. I also thought about your comment 'who is judging us'. that is so right. Why do I even bother caring. Saw this post that said 'dance like no one's watching - there not - there checking their mobiles.

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  2. Hi Suzi - I feel exactly the same way - I'm not sure if it's something our generation suffers from (the self condemnation) but I am steadily working at shutting the self-esteem fairies up and owning my own worth - it is such a blessing and it's never too late!

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    1. I just finished your post. We are very much on the same wavelength this week.

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  3. I agree. Some people's words sting so much that we try to change to the version they will accept. Especially if it is someone who means a lot to us. :) I like the quote at the end. "I am who I am and that is enough." Very true. I should tell that to myself, and to those who try tell me that extra kilo is dangerous.

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    1. People think they're being kind. I'm sure you can work out when you're needing to do something, without being made to feel insufficient.

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  4. We're both 50, Suzi and it seems we've reached the wise old age when we realize that we are truly enough and stop comparing ourselves to others! :)

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  5. Don't you feel a weight lifted from your shoulders Suzi when you accept who you are? We are all fabulous in our own way and I thoroughly recommend midlife to anyone - the best is yet to come and I mean that! Have a great week and thank you for sharing with us at Over the Moon. x Sue from Sizzling Towards Sixty.

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    1. I've had more than my share of bad times so if the best is yet to come, it's long overdue and eagerly anticipated x

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  6. Yes you are. Congratulations on 200 posts! I think it's so freeing to get to the age (I am almost 58) where we can accept ourselves. Sounds like you are there! Since you are 50 - check out my blog -MySideof50! :) Thanks for visiting! #overthemoon

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  7. Congrats! Great milestones!
    May you earn many more :)
    Agree with your points.
    I feel realization of self-worth makes more sense than unreasonably being critical. Let's enjoy the lemonade :)

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  8. Nice Quote at the end. You are handling the situations boldly while accepting the things as they are.Kudos!

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  9. Ooh, I just turned 50 too, last December! It's taken me a long time to get to where I am, but I'm much closer to saying 'I am enough' and meaning it nearly all the time. I've never heard of Cowden's Syndrome. As a teacher too, I admire anyone who can teach, have a family, and also deal with something life challenging like that. And your daughter....that must be so hard. I hope she is doing well at the moment. xox

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    1. Despite everything she has been through she finished her last Uni exam last week. Fingers crossed xxx

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  10. Congrats on 200 posts. I'm a relative newbie blogger with about half that many posts and I know how much work and tenacity goes into reaching this milestone. Thanks for linking up with Funtastic Friday.

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    1. It becomes an integral part of your life after a while doesn't it?

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  11. Fabulous! Congratulations on the 200th post. That is a wonderful milestone. I really like the image you have. "There is nothing to prove and nothing to protect. I am who I am and It's enough." Thank you for sharing in Talk It Up Thursday.

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    1. Thanks a lot for your kind words xxx

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  12. I think that insufficiency and self condemnation becomes so inherent for a lot of us. Glad you have reached of point of knowing you are enough!

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  13. Hi Suzi just wanted to say Congratulations as I have chosen your post to be a featured post in the Over the Moon link up. Thoroughly enjoyed reading your thoughts and hope to see you at next week's link up. Sue from Sizzling Towards Sixty

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  14. Congrats on your 200 posts - that is certainly a great milestone! I love your attitude! :)

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  15. Thank you so much for linking up with #Alittlebitofeverything I am sorry if I hadn't comment on the past posts but I sure read them and share them. I enjoy all your post and felt inspired by you. Congrats for this 200 post!!!!

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