Pages

Tuesday, 19 May 2015

#1000 SPEAK FOR COMPASSION - CONNECTION

The theme for this month's #1000 SPEAK FOR COMPASSION is CONNECTION. And already like last month, when challenged with a topic somebody else chose, I find myself staring at a blank computer screen, willing the ideas to flow. All I can think of is that in my youth there was a gay nightclub called Connections and I don't quite think that knowledge is going to help me fill a post!

So, once again I check out the writing prompts (no...I'm not cheating) and there it is - staying connected with children, with family, with friends. Now we're talking!
Me and the princesses - rare occasion all together. I must have been paying!

Some days I feel that somewhere along the way I won a lead role as a yo-yo, because that's what my life feels like. I yo-yo from one place to another. One moment I'm in Perth with the children and my
extended family, next I'm in Geraldton with my husband and his family. Occasionally if I can make it happen I catch up with friends. That's a hard one because schedules often don't match( especially if you have children), and it's easy for weeks, months and years to suddenly pass.

There are many meanings for the word " connection" including apparently a supplier of narcotics if you're North American! The words I like however are bond and link. So, the question for me is to think about what I do to stay linked to people I want to remain connected to.

First thing is that staying connected is a two way task. I have had friendships I valued, where often I realised that I was the only one putting in the effort. In reality there was no value in those friendships. People who want to stay connected to you do. They make space in their busy schedule and make it happen - a text here, a call there, a quick coffee or drink. I have learnt to let some people "go". By that I mean I might make occasional contact but I no longer feel the need to be connected or feel upset if they don't reciprocate. Its just not worth it.

I have to admit social media helps in most other situations.

For example, there are times when if it wasn't for Facebook and text messaging, I wouldn't connect with my younger daughter at all, such is the busy life she leads. But its all I need when we're not in the same place. The phone is better. Herself in person is even better. BUT staying connected via social media with her helps and I am ever so grateful for the technology. I just want to know how she is doing. She might be 18 but to me that's still so young and I worry.

Mum with youngest grandchild
Staying connected with parents involves more effort because often they don't use the social media we have become accustomed to. Take my mother for example - she hates Facebook. I've never really worked out why, but I do understand that for her if she can't see me in person, its my voice she wants to hear. Funnily enough though, she is competent with e-mails and texts so that's an option. But real connection with my mother does not involve technology unless it's a kettle and of course coffee and cake.My father does occasionally venture into Facebook but even after many years has no idea how it or "his stupid phone, not his smart phone" work. Technology and social media are great but not the best for staying connected with all people. Dad, I'll visit soon I promise!

Staying connected with my husband when I'm away is the hardest job of all. His texts are usually one word when I'm wanting sentences, paragraphs, essays even. The odd " I love you" or " I miss you" never hurts either instead of:

Me: Good morning
Him: Morning.
Me: How are you?
Him: Good
Me: What are you doing today?
Him: Working

There are also long pauses on the phone. Eg he will watch TV, with me on the other end of the phone
waiting for him to speak. He is so frustrating especially when I know how much he can chatter on the phone,when its to someone else. He is slightly better when he can see you. Thank you Skype and Facetime because I would probably have done something bad to him by now. Life is definitely more connected when we are in the same house together, but circumstances (long story) mean we are often apart and that makes me sad. Sometimes when I'm home we go out on date night ( dinner and movie)
and I always sit and have a cup of tea with him when he gets home every day. It takes effort and commitment to stay connected to your partner. I don't think a lot of people get that.

The hardest connection of all is with myself. 

Those who are regular readers of my blog " Chronicles of a Lumpy Person" will know the hard times I've been through and the never ending struggle to stay on top of things. Learning to connect with myself involves maintaining strong beliefs and faith, learning to self care without guilt and for me blogging! These are all ongoing works in progress and focus on my strengths not weaknesses.

So, I suppose the link between compassion and connection is really quite simple. Compassion comes from Italian "con passione" meaning with love. Connection is an act of love. How you link the two may vary from situation to situation. Its not always easy to stay connected.


Till next time when WE connect...xxx

ST






24 comments:

  1. Very interesting post! A lot of food for thought. Thank you so much for sharing with us.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I enjoyed reading your article today, it's very thoughtful and reflective and it speaks to our attempts at keeping up with the times while not forgetting those who want to stay in the past.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, with some people technology will never be enough...and fair enough.

      Delete
  3. I've got to admit, I can relate to your mother preferring coffee and cake to Facebook any day! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've got to admit coffee and cake is always good period.

      Delete
  4. Very interesting read and something to think about. Even with today's technology we are still disconnected with the people around us. How sad is that?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Only if we let it dominate how we operate. Someone once told me that there are PICNIC situations where the Problem Is In The Chair Not In The Computer.

      Delete
  5. thanks for the great information in the post


    AP 10th result 2015

    ReplyDelete
  6. I am so thankful for internet and social media. Facebook helps me connect with my mom and friends who live in Brazil. I cannot even imagine how it would be without being able to share emails and pictures.
    #WednesdayWisdom

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree. That's how I keep up with my family in Malta and my blogging friends worldwide.

      Delete
  7. Hi Suzi, my first visit here and I'm delighted to meet you. I can relate to much of your connection issues. I had to laugh at the comment on the kids. Money seems to be my connection with my kids as well--the bratz! As for the Hubby, they aren't good at the text thing are they? Sometimes I'll get a 'K'. That's it!! Ugh. Self care is a huge challenge but one I've improved on with my age. Great post for #1000Speak!

    p.s. I love the font you use. It's easy to read.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. I"m glad you enjoyed the post and I wish I could tell you which font it is but I haven't a clue. Its one of bloggers special ones and I love it.

      Delete
  8. (test comment. I left a comment, but had to how I wanted to comment and then my comment was gone. Now I'm not sure if it went through. Really hope it did!) *waves*

    ReplyDelete
  9. Ah no! I see my test comment and not my other comment. I can't recall all I wrote now! *ponders* I wrote about how your mum was right as nothing can beat a proper cup of tea/coffee with cake (and or cookies. Or both hehe). And how I wished that plane tickets were cheaper, because as much as I love the internet, I eventually wish that I could see my friend in real life as well. It'd be like having the best of both worlds! ^_^

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tell me about it. I am desperate to meet a friend in New York but its soooooooo expensive from Australia.

      Delete
  10. Even without all that stuff going on I can relate to never having the time. Family connections are so important - and it seems like you've figured it all out.

    ReplyDelete
  11. "Connection is an act of love"...perfect.

    ReplyDelete
  12. My grandfather does the same with my mom on the phone haha it was like I was reading what she tells me. Great post!! Thanks for linking up with #themommylife

    ReplyDelete
  13. What an interesting post. It's funny how over time the definition of the word "connection" has changed. How many of us are still making meaningful connections face to face instead of over a screen. Thanks for sharing. #ConfessionsLinkUp

    ReplyDelete
  14. Do not know what to say, I liked your article and I hope you will have many entries or more.
    happy wheels
    super mario bros
    pacman
    agario

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...