NIGELLA ROCKS

FYD, ME AND FED

I had a great week with my beautiful girls and one of their friends, culminating in a family dinner to celebrate two birthdays . The photos if I say so myself are excellent even though the FYD accuses me of shaky photos. She really is getting far too cheeky. (note to self - cut allowance).

But while looking at myself in the photos, an undeniable truth was there. Standing next to three stunning young women, I am obviously older. Dare I say it...middle aged! WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN? WHEN DID I BECOME MIDDLE AGE?

I took to Google for comfort and researched the concept, only to find little solace as all current dictionaries define my age as middle age. How do they justify that? An old woman in the media recently was from memory 118. Middle age is therefore 59. Ha! Ten years to go!!

So, lets look at the facts and let me show you how un- middle aged I am. Middle aged people according to Dr Wikipedia show the following characteristics:

1. Visible signs of aging (eg loss of skin elasticity) - my skin is beautiful, better than 20 years ago. Wrong.
2. Greying hair - I never have grey hair. Wrong again.
3. Physical fitness wanes - never had any ever so not possible. Wrong once more.
4. Decreased strength - come here let me punch you and you decide!
5. Decreased fertility - no relevant organs so this one is not relevant to me anyway.
6. Age related health problems - maybe, maybe not.

So there. A scientific study with a population of one has successfully proved that five out of six characteristics for middle agedness are not relevant to me. And...one is sitting on the fence. Therefore a 1 out of 6 minority is hardly a winner is it? Ha! I knew it. Even though I may look older than the girls I am scientifically not middle age.

And at this point I make the mistake of looking at other recent photos and I start to notice subtle changes.

1. Sensible shoes. (well I have to cos my feet swell).
2. Sensible makeup (otherwise I look like I am auditioning for Rocky Horror as the horror)
3. Well designed clothing that camouflages as much as possible.
4. Wrinkles (really little ones but they are there never the less).

Grrr its true. Its really true. I really am middle aged.

I don't know how to be middle aged and there is obviously an etiquette which I'm oblivious to . How can one know, when some middle aged people in the media are middle age frumpy and some are middle age sexy. Nigella springs to mind. I want to be middle age of the Nigella type.  That's not bad at all. I don't want to be middle aged with grey hair and a bun. I like bright colours, going out, being noisy, eating good food and having a few drinks. Is that ok? Am I doing this right? Please let me know.

Till next time ...

A middle aged Suzi T xxx