TRUST ME I'M A DOCTOR

My entire lifetime is littered with experiences of having to place my trust in the medical profession. You walk into their rooms, you tell them what's wrong and then their super human brain works it all out, and they tell you what they're going to do for you. Usually then you shrug your shoulders, go " what the hell, I have no choice" and agree to trust them to do what they say, because you need the job done.

To me trusting a doctor had always been a given. My Dad is a doctor and I grew up around doctors. To not trust a doctor would be like telling my Dad I didn't believe in his skills, his judgement and his wisdom. Till last year it never dawned on me "not" to trust anyone in the medical profession.

When I trust a doctor, this is what I expect:

1. That they know what they are talking about.
2. That they have the skills to do a good job.
3. That they treat me ( and every other patient) as the most important patient ever.
4. That they don't rip me off. I still need to survive after the surgery and I will need money.
5. That they treat me with respect and that includes my after care, my worried phone calls and a year later if necessary.

A year ago a doctor who operated on me broke most of my expectations. The surgery was a mess and it left me in hospital for six weeks often fighting for my life. It was the worst period in my life and when you remember that I have had two cancer diagnoses, you might start to get a feel how bad this period in my life was. It was awful.

Its a hard thing this trust business and one none of us can really avoid. If you want a haircut, you need to trust the person with the scissors. If you want a meal out you need to trust that the chef is doing the right thing with regard to food safety. There are so many examples. You get a driving license and you then need to trust others driving around you to do the right thing. You need surgery and you have to trust the doctor.

In the last twelve months I have really struggled with the broken trust issues from this doctor. As a result I have become nervous, on edge and quite panicky about anything medical.When my daughter had to have surgery with a new doctor in recent months, it just about finished me off. I didn't know this doctor or anaesthetist. How could I trust them with my child? Cue a full blown panic attack. (Incidentally surgeon and anaeasthetist were excellent).

As a person with a condition requiring not one but an army of doctors, it hasn't been a good idea to be so doctor phobic. I have no idea why its got so bad, but I know I've been actively avoiding GP visits and blood tests especially. And visiting people in "that" hospital, forget it!

In the last week a few things have made this issue come to a head. Firstly one of my specialists rang me checking why I hadn't had my bloods done. He was actually concerned. ( Note to self - doctor cares and can be trusted). Then my psychologist told me that if I let this continue, I would become more of a victim than I already was because of a dud doctor. I like her because she tells me straight.

So, I am officially making an effort to move on from this issue. I am going to remember all the other doctors and medical personnel I have been able to trust and I am going to try to move on. Its another of those situations I really don't have a choice in.

Have any of you had any success with learning to trust again? All tips welcome.

I HOPE NOT!!!

Till next time...xxx