Wednesday, 12 October 2016


My entire lifetime is littered with experiences of having to place my trust in the medical profession. You walk into their rooms, you tell them what's wrong and then their super human brain works it all out, and they tell you what they're going to do for you. Usually then you shrug your shoulders, go " what the hell, I have no choice" and agree to trust them to do what they say, because you need the job done.

To me trusting a doctor had always been a given. My Dad is a doctor and I grew up around doctors. To not trust a doctor would be like telling my Dad I didn't believe in his skills, his judgement and his wisdom. Till last year it never dawned on me "not" to trust anyone in the medical profession.

When I trust a doctor, this is what I expect:
  1. That they know what they are talking about.
  2. That they have the skills to do a good job.
  3. That they treat me ( and every other patient) as the most important patient ever.
  4. That they don't rip me off. I still need to survive after the surgery and I will need money.
  5. That they treat me with respect and that includes my after care, my worried phone calls and a year later if necessary.
A year ago a doctor who operated on me broke most of my expectations. The surgery was a mess and it left me in hospital for six weeks often fighting for my life. It was the worst period in my life and when you remember that I have had two cancer diagnoses, you might start to get a feel how bad this period in my life was. It was awful.

Its a hard thing this trust business and one none of us can really avoid. If you want a haircut, you need to trust the person with the scissors. If you want a meal out you need to trust that the chef is doing the right thing with regard to food safety. There are so many examples. You get a driving license and you then need to trust others driving around you to do the right thing. You need surgery and you have to trust the doctor.

In the last twelve months I have really struggled with the broken trust issues from this doctor. As a result I have become nervous, on edge and quite panicky about anything medical.When my daughter had to have surgery with a new doctor in recent months, it just about finished me off. I didn't know this doctor or anaesthetist. How could I trust them with my child? Cue a full blown panic attack. (Incidentally surgeon and anaeasthetist were excellent).

As a person with a condition requiring not one but an army of doctors, it hasn't been a good idea to be so doctor phobic. I have no idea why its got so bad, but I know I've been actively avoiding GP visits and blood tests especially. And visiting people in "that" hospital, forget it!

In the last week a few things have made this issue come to a head. Firstly one of my specialists rang me checking why I hadn't had my bloods done. He was actually concerned. ( Note to self - doctor cares and can be trusted). Then my psychologist told me that if I let this continue, I would become more of a victim than I already was because of a dud doctor. I like her because she tells me straight.

So, I am officially making an effort to move on from this issue. I am going to remember all the other doctors and medical personnel I have been able to trust and I am going to try to move on. Its another of those situations I really don't have a choice in.

Have any of you had any success with learning to trust again? All tips welcome.

Till next


  1. I'm afraid I can't Suzi, my trust issues don't have to do with the medical profession, just people in general. Sure there are people I trust, but there are also others that I am suspicious of.

    1. It's hard isn't it to regain trust once broken. In my case I have no option but to try. Good luck sorting stuff out xxx

  2. I'm really sorry to hear this. I feel the same. I trusted the doctors who delivered my first daughter and they left me unable to walk for 6 months after birth. I then trusted the doctor who said I didn't need an operation to fix things. Then 6months later another doctor told me I should have had an operation earlier but it was too late now. That really was the turning point for me where I felt left down massively and regretted trusting them.

    Earlier in the year my daughter had a seroma on her ear, A&E sent me home and told me if it hadn't gone down in 2-3weeks come back. I didn't sleep that night, took her to another A&E the next day who within 48hrs had operated.

    My second child made a funny purring noise from birth and I told the doctors she wasn't breathing properly. I was told it was nothing over and over again. At 3months old I insisted something was wrong and got my doctor to reluctantly refer her - but there was a 8-12 week wait for paediatric outpatients. In the meantime it got so bad she stopped breathing and turned blue twice. Two trips to A&E and they admitted she had a problem with the muscles in the back of her throat and was not able to clear her reflux. Basically she was choking on her own vomit. Medication sorted her out but all the panic and drama and stress would have been avoided if they had just investigated sooner.

    I feel like it is a game of Russian roulette. All depends who you get on the day.

    At the end of the day I have to trust them to some extent because I'm not a doctor but all these experiences have taught me to get second opinions and if you feel something is not right in your gut push push push until you see the person in charge or a specialist - and even then hedge your bets.


    1. Omg you have had such a hard time. I agree with you about trusting your gut and if need be getting another opinion. With regards to our children, a GP once told me any doctor who doesn't trust a mother's gut feeling is very foolish. Xxx

  3. I think sometimes you do have to step into the unknown. My boyfriend has had similar experiences with dentists and just had to take the leap and believe that not all are bad!


    1. Exactly right. Thanks for reading X

  4. Gosh reading this and reading the comments it makes it hard to know who you can trust. You are right in most cases we have to trust our doctors, after I gave birth to my second daughter I had two test done incorrectly and was told I had cancer, I didn't! Luckily it was investigated further as another doctor thought i looked and felt too well for the diagnosis to be correct I was left for days wondering would I see my daughters grow up. But for he most part i have had very good doctors wen things have been bad. I agree with the therapist though if we don't trust then we are letting the bad ones win. #mg

    1. And that's the whole point I think. I had a bad experience but I have had many good experiences.

  5. Wow. What a terrible thing. Trust is hard once it's been broken. I wish you the best of luck! #trafficjamweekend

    1. I think I agree with you but I have no choice...makes it hard

  6. I'm so sorry! Wish I had great words of wisdom on how to trust again. But, trust me, I don't.

  7. I'm so sorry you lost the trust in your doctor, I'm sure it can be a stressful situation when you don't trust the person who has your life in your hands. Good luck. xx
    Thanks for linking to #pocolo


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