BOOBS AND BUMPS

While the FED enjoys a cease fire and a bit of rest, I took the opportunity to " bond" with my youngest sister. She is pregnant, and due in eight weeks, which is a relief really to both herself and ourselves.

You see, my sister is very excited about her impending bundle of joy but not overly thrilled with the business of being pregnant. She hates how her body has developed a mind of its own and swelled from her petite size 6 to triple whale size if you listen to her. It's quite funny really because while in reality she looks healthy, glowing and pregnant, she believes she looks fat and horrendous. Don't even dare use the word glowing in her presence! Apparently thats a synonym for " fat" and you will be given a steely glare  which will cut you down into tiny little pieces.

Today I actually thought she would decapitate someone. I went shopping for nursing bras with her. As she has swelled from " much ado about nothing" to voluptuous, it really was time. The assistant asked her if she was about a size 14. Silly, silly woman. Don't mess with pregnancy hormones or you will suffer. My sister stiffened. I felt real fear...for the assistant. But with composure eventually regained they settled on a size both parties were happy with.

While my sister tried on her " granny bras" the assistant miraculously disappeared only to be replaced by a friendlier model who came when she was buzzed for. Funnily enough you press once and it just keeps buzzing until someone comes running. It was a busy time in the department store so the buzzer just kept on buzzing. My sister remained hidden behind her cubicle door while I fended off inquisitive stares with a knowing " she's pregnant and needs all the help she can get" look.

The friendlier assistant was more diplomatic and obviously used to dealing with pregnancy hormones. She replaced all the original bras with smaller sizes and my sister smiled victoriously. Peace reigned in the change rooms for a mere five minutes.

The assistant returning to "view" the progress now decided she needed a wider cup size. My sister made a feeble attempt to fight back but what was the point? The truth was staring her in the chest. Where once she had teased both her sisters about this particular cup size, she now had joined their ranks. We made eye contact. I was beside myself with laughter. There was much teasing to be had here. Luckily I'm not so mean.

I'm betting any amount of money that after all the whinging that has been done in this pregnancy, the birth will be smooth and quick, my sister and her husband will make great parents and the baby will grow up to be fabulous just like her aunt - me! I can't wait to meet my little niece.

Till next time...xxx