MESSAGE FROM MUM

When my daughter was asked to be part of the I AM PROJECT she was so excited! It gave her the opportunity to share her story with others and to be a positive role model, something she is passionate about.

 The link to this fabulous idea and it's website is http://www.the-iamproject.com/ . Please have a look, show it to your sisters and daughters and come back, because it will be updated regularly. Ashton is the first person to be introduced...more brave and inspirational young women will be highlighted over the next few months.

I have also been asked to contribute something...a mother's perspective. Instead of my blog this week, I'd like you to read what I wrote. It will appear on the I AM PROJECT website soon. (Ssh I wrote it so you all get it first!)

Someone once told me that life can change in the blink of an eyelid. How true that is! One moment you're preparing to go back to school ( I'm a teacher) and the next moment (the day before school is due to return in fact), you're on the phone trying to explain to your boss why you're not going to be at work and that you're not sure if or when you'll be back...if at all.

My boss is a patient man. He's had to be to deal with my situation, but I'd like to think I'm a good teacher and worth it. You see prior to Ashton getting sick I had eight years of serious medical issues of my own and each time this impacted on the people I work with. I could have quit but chose not to. Work kept my head above water. It kept me talking to people and it gave me a reason to get up each day. Basically anyway it's not in my makeup to quit. My boss learned to understand this or maybe he gave in gracefully! Who knows? Anyway here I was again taking time off but not for me this time,for my daughter.

When Ashton got sick everything changed. I was such an expert at managing my own health it came as a shock to realise I couldn't manage hers. She was not only so sick she needed to be in Perth, but it involved her brain...really scary stuff. The three of us- me, Ashton's Dad and Ciara her sister were terrified. Ashton was too sick to understand what was going on but we understood this was a life or death situation.

Initially we coped by sticking together. Ciara was about to start term 3 of year 12 but she took time off from school and came to Perth with us. It couldn't have come at a worse time but there was never any question she would be apart from her sister. "Family first" is and will always be the golden rule in this house. I have the greatest admiration for how Ciara coped in those days. She did all the work school set and even studied. Afternoons she spent visiting her sister. She was unbelievably organised and she doesn't know this but I drew my strength from her at that time.

As the enormity of Ashton's situation began to dawn on us, my own personal health took a nose dive. There is only so much one person can handle and after eight years I had reached my limit. My daughter needed me , so I took all of 2014 off to look after my health and to be there for both my daughters. Thanks to my income protection we were able to pay the girls rent in Perth, but there has not been much money left over, as we have essentially gone from two incomes to one. As Ashton was technically now living in Perth for university, we could no longer access PATS. Also, Centrelink provided zero help whatever angle we tried.

At the end of the day money helps but people are what matter. Ashton has been unbelievably strong in her ability to cope and her ability to see the funny side in everything. Yes, eleven brain surgeries and we still laugh, whether it's at the nicknames we've given the doctors or at the nonsense she would say while partly sedated. She even asked an anaesthetist to wax her eyebrows one day while she was under. It never happened but it made us laugh and laughter helps.

If my husband and I didn't have a strong bond, this last year would have been even harder. As the only wage earner he had to return to our town and go back to work. This meant that for weeks this year we have been apart as I stayed with Ashton to help her after surgery. It's been hard for him to be away from his girls as he calls us and hard for me because some issues which are best dealt together landed on my shoulders. But as I said a strong bond and big phone bills helped a lot.

The other thing that helps is extended family and whether it's a meal or a chat or a box of tissues they have been there. Strangers from around the world have also made a difference by extending arms of friendship to us. This has even included support from our favourite footy team, the Westcoast Eagles and radio station 96fm.

Eleven surgeries down and she's doing well at the moment. It's all so surreal and there are days when I ask myself if this has really been happening to us. Some people think that because it's been a long time that it's over and that she is cured. Well it's definitely not over, but she is in a better place than 12 months ago. With the best in medical treatment, her sense of humour, the love of family and friends and bucket loads of goodwill from strangers, she WILL get there. I have no doubt whatsoever.

ASHTON'S MUM XXX