UP, UP AND AWAY

Ok Dad I apologise in advance for swearing, but 2014 has been a shit year. And while it's true you need to focus on the good and the positive, no matter what angle I look at it from, it's also true that this has been a positively shit year.

 To add to the general shittiness of it all, today is the 8th December, my 6th cancer anniversary. While the hurt is no longer as great as it once was and a general acceptance of what happened has settled in, the date always brings out the " what ifs".

What if that had been a normal day?

What if I never had a breast cancer diagnosis ?

What if I still had both breasts instead of these uncomfortable lumps of saline rubber?

What if...?

What if...?

What if...?

I swore back on the 8th December 2008 that on my anniversaries I would always do something special to reclaim that date. I've never failed and in the four anniversaries to date have celebrated with friends, had special dinners with family and one year I even had a luxurious spa treatment.

And today in keeping with the promise, I am writing this, kilometres up in the sky en route to the island of Bali. Just me and the husband ... no kids...for the first time in an eternity...22 years to be exact.

I'm out of practice. I don't know how to travel without the girls and I may or may not have shed a tear as we took off. Don't laugh. It's anxiety at its best.

What if something goes wrong?

What if someone gets sick?

What if someone has an accident?

What if our house gets broken into?

" Then we come back" says the husband. " Its only three and a half hours away".

So, Bali it is.

And because men know EVERYTHING, someone now has no deodorant and sunscreen.

And because I'm married to someone who sincerely believes that nothing can get done without a cup of tea and food first, we were running late.

And we argued at duty free.

And there was a queue for the toilets.

But nothing matters, because we're finally on the bloody plane where for the record tea, coffee and toasted sandwiches can be bought....cheaper! Oh the surprise of it all! 

And it doesn't matter because in a few hours I'll be lying by the pool sipping a cocktail. I'll be the one next to the sunburnt, deodorant less man so come say hello.

Till next time...xxx