With the season of ho ho ho approaching I am being reminded on a daily basis that it's time that I got myself into action. I've tried to pretend it's not December for a few weeks now. Six weeks in hospital and ten weeks on a restricted ( close to nothing) diet have washed my Christmas spirit down the drain.
No this isn't a bah humbug sort of post. Far from it! I love Christmas, going to Christmas mass, eating special food ( she says hopefully), hanging out with friends and family. What I don't like is the pressure I feel in the build up. Even though this year my family are having a " laid back" Christmas, I still feel what I'm going to call "Christmas anxiety". In my experience there is no such thing as a laid back Christmas.
Now the husband says I stress too much and others tell me " chill, it will all work out". But how is this even possible? If I didn't stress there would be no presents, no food, no tree, no nothing. And guess whose face would fall first. I'll give you a hint - my big kid over 50!
So with my "Christmas anxiety" in all its glory I braced myself for a shopping expedition. Prior to leaving I tried to put off the inevitable with the help of Facebook. In fifteen minutes I learnt all sorts of things- what I should cook for Christmas, what anyone who is anyone will be wearing on Christmas, how to prevent arguments with the husband on Christmas and how to decorate my house for the festive season on a budget. With my anxiety suitably fed, I decided the time had come to leave.A kilometre down the road I had to swerve to miss a car that was driving like a lunatic. The car was adorned with Rudolph antlers and a big shiny red nose on the front. This reindeer imitation scared the hell out of me and frankly I think Santa needs to exert a bit more control over these Rudolph wannabes.
Arriving at the shopping centre in one piece, I took a deep breath and reminded myself that I could do this. I did not need to stress. I could chill. I could walk in, do my shopping and leave in one piece. My brain asked me which piece I'd like to leave in and reminded me that in hospital, my heart began playing up when my anxiety levels were too high. Thanks for the support brain.
I walked passed a bunch of young Mums with babies, waiting to have photos with Santa. I smiled as I remembered doing exactly the same with both girls. Ashton was a photographer's delight because she laughed hysterically at anything. Santa was actually not needed. Ciara was never too sure about this guy in red and I doubt I ever got a Santa photo with her smiling. Oh well, that's kids for you. Maybe I need to explain this to the woman I just over heard saying " smile damn you, to her little baby". Joy to the world, there's always one.
The present buying bit went well because I gave up very quickly and bought vouchers. Yes I'm pathetic, but there was nothing I would want to receive let alone give and so rather than turn into a Christmas crazy, I took the easy route out. With the credit card in respiratory distress, I ran out of the shops. Part 1 ( presents) done. Part 2 ( food) coming soon. If anyone sees wannabe Rudolph, could you ask him what day he won't be on the road.
Off to wrap presents,
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