FOR A GOOD FRIEND

The word PAIN has so many meanings:

It pained me to see the hundreds of refugees on TV.
Watching my favourite football team lose in the grand-final was painful.
I'm still in a bit of pain after my recent operation.

How can one word be used in so many different ways and how do we compare? If pain means...well pain of course...what is the extreme? What is the worst example of pain you can come up with?

For me the worst example of pain is when your child is seriously ill and I am reminded of this today because I know that a friend is going through hell. Both she and her daughter have Cowden's syndrome and at the moment she is worrying about a procedure her daughter must undergo next week which could yield something nasty.This is the worst sort of pain.

You carry your child for nine months - less if your body is impatient like mine! You watch what you eat, drink and do, so as to protect the child. You raise them and you do everything to make sure they are fed,clean, clothed and exposed to all sorts of experiences that life offers. You are their life and they are yours. And then suddenly a medical condition appears and you no longer have control. You can't plan and you can't make decisions. The condition is now in charge.

Yes, I am speaking from experience. Those of you who have been with me for a while and especially those who have read my book, will know the anguish I went through with my eldest daughter's health. Like my friend, both my daughter and I have Cowden's syndrome and in my daughter's case it attacked in her brain. Procedure after procedure ensued and each time I sat there helpless in a state of panic because something was harming my baby and I couldnt control it or fix it. This my friends is pain, excruciating pain.

You can't help yourself. You live the past in vivid colour and remember the years before in minute detail. You try not to fall into  "what ifs" about the future because that's too painful and likely to tip you over the edge. The present is unbearable.

My daughter today is stable. Stable does not mean fixed. It just means that for the time being the nasty syndrome effects are being kept at bay. She is currently on a three week holiday and she left with a list of dos and don'ts from me as long as my arm. She may be 21 but she is still my child. Much as I love seeing her live her life, the  " what ifs " are always there.

So, back to my friend. I want you to know I feel your pain. I feel your tears and I feel your hopelessness. I also hope this bout of pain is temporary. You have my prayers that all goes well and the issue is resolved. Your daughter is tough. She has proved that many times.

To those who read this maybe you can fire a prayer to heaven for this young girl and her parents.

Virtual hugs,

Till next time...xxST