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Friday 11 March 2016

WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS...

A writing prompt from a writing group I belong to really hit home this week.
"Do you have a mantra? If so what is it and how does it help you?"

"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade".

I first heard this phrase about ten years ago when I was in my early fourties. I thought it was kind of "cute" and remember writing it in big letters on my teacher's work pad so I could read it every day. In this way it became my mantra and a reminder to make the most out of life. At one stage I even had it plastered across the blackboard in my classroom, because I wanted my students to take it on board and not " drown" in the challenges life threw at them.

For about two years, that's all it was, a cute saying that I read on a daily basis but didn't really put into practice. At 42 this changed when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Nothing was more " lemon" than this. As I grappled to deal with this life shattering incident, making lemonade was the farthest thing from my mind. I was too overwhelmed, too scared and too angry. Why me? I have kids, a loving husband, a great job. WHY ME?
Time is a great soother. I'm not even sure if that's a word! But, as weeks passed and decisions for a mastectomy and reconstruction where made, the clouds in my head started to dissipate. And I suppose that's when my lemonade making began because I made a new attitude and refused to be beaten by cancer. I came across all sorts of women in similar situations but vastly different outcomes. Women who had to wait for reconstruction for 2 years on the public health system, a woman who never followed up her test results and went from stage 1 to stage 3 in the months in took to catch up with her and a family friend who passed away after a valiant fight. I realised how lucky I was to have the best in medical treatment and to be able to have immediate reconstruction. It made me mentally tougher when I developed  gratitude.

When I returned to my teaching job, weeks later I realised I had a great platform which I needed to use. I told my story to my teenage students, males and females and even showed them ( over clothes of course), how to do a breast examination. I was inundated with questions and answering them helped me cope with my situation.

My health has not been great in my fourties and it was the following year after my breast cancer surgery that I had another lemonade moment. Being diagnosed with Cowden's syndrome (CS) knocked me for six. Not only did it explain so much but it made me so grateful that I'd had the mastectomy, because CS carries an 85% risk of breast cancer. If I hadn't gone to the doctor about my suspicions, the cancer and the other two spots discovered later, would not have been found till much later.

I read everything I could to inform me about CS. I joined two online international support groups and discovered others like myself. Then in my lemonade moment, realising that Australians had no support group just for Australians, I started my own. Cowden's syndrome- Australia accessed through Facebook now has fourty members who regularly share their stories and information that works for them, to a local audience. CS diagnosis made me feel so alone but finding others in Australia with the same condition helped me keep my head above water. Being able to help and be helped has been a lifesaver or should I say a big glass of lemonade.

When my eldest daughter became seriously ill I experienced lemons I never thought possible. Thoughts of making lemonade where the farthest from my mind as the horrible gut wrenching , heart breaking situation developed. She went through numerous life saving procedures in what were some dark, dark days.

And then in a visit to the shop SPOTLIGHT one day I came across this wall print.
It was like a slap across the face, a reminder to not let life get me down. My daughter refusing to be
defined by her condition was streaks ahead of me. I was drowning. At the suggestion of my sister, I
started writing and this blog was born. It's been a lifesaver for me because it's helped me spread the word about CS while helping me deal with not only my health issues but those of my daughter as well. She was later also diagnosed with CS.

The print takes pride of place on a wall in my lounge room. I read it every single day and it's a constant reminder in a life that will never be normal, to look for the positives and the good in every situation. I suppose it's a reminder to be grateful.

Till next time...xxx
ST

20 comments:

  1. Choosing your attitude makes such a difference in life. Nobody would choose to have a life full of lemons, but they come anyway (some seem to get more than others!) it's how you deal with those lemons that shapes the person you are. I love that you're making lemonade and not drowning in lemon juice :)

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    1. Yes, you're right. Crossing your attitude does make a big difference. But, it's a hard skill to develop and even when you think you've got it, something happens which tests you again.

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  2. Thank for for sharing. I write as a sort of therapy too!

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  3. I'm so glad you where able to find a good outlet. Its great that now you are able to reach out and help others. This was a very encouraging post. Thanks for sharing.

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  4. It is all about attitude isn't it Suzi and what a great attitude you have. We all experience 'lemons' in our life we just need to deal with them and focus on the 'lemonade'. You are very inspirational and thank you for sharing your personal experiences - YOU GO GIRL! #FridayReflections

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    1. You always say the nicest things. Thank you for your kind words.

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  5. Great Suzi that you tried to do lemonade not one but many times. Your positive spirit and gratitude are inspiring. Thanks for sharing.

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  6. Wow you've been through so much! Thanks for sharing more of you, what you've been through and your underlying ability to make lemonade :)

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  7. Wow, you have been through so much. As I was reading, I was thinking how great it was that you were able to pull your "lemonade" attitude out of your circumstances. But when you got to the part of your daughter's serious illness and said that lemonade was the farthest thing from your mind, I could really relate. I love, love, love that you found that lemon print, and that you display it prominently. I think I will think of your story for a long time every time I see lemons. Best wishes to you and your daughter!

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    1. Your comments have given me such encouragement. Thank you x

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  8. Oh I forgot to say I nominated you for this:

    http://reflectionsfromaredhead.com/sisterhood-of-the-world-bloggers/

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  9. Suzi, how good that you could start a support group here in Australia. I am sure you serve lemonade to the group often. It is hard to see our children suffer, no matter what their age. I do wish you and your dear daughter well. Also thanks for sharing this post with our readers on the Bloggers Pit Stop.
    Kathleen

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  10. You have had every reason to want to throw those lemons back and demand chocolate, but you have made the best lemonade, you have so much strength and beauty. Very inspiring post, thank you so much for sharing it with #Fridayreflections. Janine and I have also chosen your post as the best post this week and you are officially this weeks Friday Reflections Featured Writer! Come by this week and grab our new Featured Writer Badge! Hugs xx

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  11. I think chocolate over lemonade sounds a good call given what life has thrown at you. I've also heard that when life gives you lemons you should pour a G&T. thank you for linking up to #pocolo

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  12. Congratulations on being the week's featured writer! I enjoyed reading your post.

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  13. Congratulations on being the week's featured writer! I enjoyed reading your post.

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