YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

I'm watching an old movie where a man ( Mel Gibson) develops the ability to hear what women are saying " in their thoughts". It drives him insane and makes sitting in a meeting full of women impossibly confusing! He hears what women think. He reads their minds and sometimes what he reads is not what he wants to hear . The psychologist he goes to visit tells him he has a gift and may just be the luckiest guy in the world. It's hilarious. Imagine if men could read womens' thoughts, both good and bad. How much trouble could that get you in! For example, this could have been my week:

1. Monday night on Qantas, flying to Perth, the guy in front of me might have "heard" this - " do you really need to recline your seat on a one hour flight loser. I can't eat my dinner because the tray is all wonky, thanks to your seat being reclined, you inconsiderate, *#%^*^ ".
2. Tuesday at a hospital visit, the guy who eyeballed me in the car park would have got " steal my parking space and I will haunt you for the rest of your life" and
3. Today - "pull your pants up, I don't want to see your jocks" and later " I wanted coffee so I wouldn't hit anyone. You made it so hot I can't drink it...you're in danger, mate!
   

Jokes apart, what would be the benefit of men reading women's minds and how could anyone consider that a gift? If my mind is typical of most womens' minds, then the gift would drive someone crazy, loopy and straight into an asylum. Reason - too many things are on my mind at one time. (Only another woman would get this).

See if you can follow:

Topic arrives in my head - Mother's Day. This then fires off many mini topics and links, so confusing and guaranteed to confuse any mind reading, male " listener ":

It's Mothers Day Sunday.

What shall I get my Mum?

Hope my sister's kids remember.

Must ask her about that dress I bought her.

Hope my red dress for party looks good.

Must work on menu.

Must go food shopping. We're out of fruit.

Fruit - full of sugar or healthy ?

Must make doctors appointment next week.

When are those results coming through? 

Feeling a bit anxious.

Don't think about being anxious. You will ruin Mothers Day

Time from topic arriving to final link - one minute maximum.

Here's another :

Topic - What's for dinner?                              

Hungry

Cook dinner

Must go Woolworths.

Saw Liz last time shopped there.

Wonder how her mother is now.

Must ask Liz about shoes.

God my feet ache.

On my feet all day.

Teaching so tiring.

If that kid does that again, I'm going to scream.

That would be funny.

I wonder if " Big Bang" on tonight?

Must ask Mum.

Must ring Mum.

I'll make her stew for dinner. ( 30 seconds all up)

No folks, the ability to read these female conversations would not be a gift. It would drive males to an early grave as they tried to decipher the chain of thoughts and the oestrogen fuelled logic. In fact ( as a Public Health Service) you are hereby warned to refrain from analysing a woman's mind if you are a man. Do not attempt to cultivate this skill. Stay well away for your own health and well-being.

Don't say I didn't warn you!
Till next time...xxx
ST