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Friday 6 May 2016

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

I'm watching an old movie where a man ( Mel Gibson) develops the ability to hear what women are saying " in their thoughts". It drives him insane and makes sitting in a meeting full of women impossibly confusing! He hears what women think. He reads their minds and sometimes what he reads is not what he wants to hear . The psychologist he goes to visit tells him he has a gift and may just be the luckiest guy in the world. It's hilarious. Imagine if men could read womens' thoughts, both good and bad. How much trouble could that get you in! For example, this could have been my week:
  1. Monday night on Qantas, flying to Perth, the guy in front of me might have "heard" this - " do you really need to recline your seat on a one hour flight loser. I can't eat my dinner because the tray is all wonky, thanks to your seat being reclined, you inconsiderate, *#%^*^ ".
  2. Tuesday at a hospital visit, the guy who eyeballed me in the car park would have got " steal my parking space and I will haunt you for the rest of your life" and
  3. Today - "pull your pants up, I don't want to see your jocks" and later " I wanted coffee so I wouldn't hit anyone. You made it so hot I can't drink it...you're in danger, mate!
Jokes apart, what would be the benefit of men reading women's minds and how could anyone consider that a gift? If my mind is typical of most womens' minds, then the gift would drive someone crazy, loopy and straight into an asylum. Reason - too many things are on my mind at one time. (Only another woman would get this).

See if you can follow:

Topic arrives in my head - Mother's Day. This then fires off many mini topics and links, so confusing and guaranteed to confuse any mind reading, male " listener ":

It's Mothers Day Sunday.
What shall I get my Mum?
Hope my sister's kids remember.
Must ask her about that dress I bought her.
Hope my red dress for party looks good.
Must work on menu.
Must go food shopping. We're out of fruit.
Fruit - full of sugar or healthy ?
Must make doctors appointment next week.
When are those results coming through? 
Feeling a bit anxious.
Don't think about being anxious. You will ruin Mothers Day

Time from topic arriving to final link - one minute maximum.

Here's another :

Topic - What's for dinner?                              

Hungry
Cook dinner
Must go Woolworths.
Saw Liz last time shopped there.
Wonder how her mother is now.
Must ask Liz about shoes.
God my feet ache.
On my feet all day.
Teaching so tiring.
If that kid does that again, I'm going to scream.
That would be funny.
I wonder if " Big Bang" on tonight?
Must ask Mum.
Must ring Mum.
I'll make her stew for dinner. ( 30 seconds all up)

No folks, the ability to read these female conversations would not be a gift. It would drive males to an early grave as they tried to decipher the chain of thoughts and the oestrogen fuelled logic. In fact ( as a Public Health Service) you are hereby warned to refrain from analysing a woman's mind if you are a man. Do not attempt to cultivate this skill. Stay well away for your own health and well-being.

Don't say I didn't warn you!
Till next time...xxx
ST




19 comments:

  1. It's nice to know that my head isn't the only one overflowing with thoughts, ideas, lists, and general weird stuff :)

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  2. Too funny, and so true! I don't know how I can bounce from one topic to another so quickly. Sadly, much of this comes out of my mouth as well, leaving my husband reeling and asking, "How did we go from asking if I got dog food today to worrying about skin cancer?" Lol! Thanks for sharing!

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    1. My Mum talks through it too, so much so I shake my head in confusion.

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  3. Ohhhh...it is a really good thing that people cannot hear the conversations an comments in our head!!!
    You gave me a chuckle!

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  4. So true! I often say something random to my husband completely unrelated to the conversation we ere just having! Thanks for linikng up to #FridayFrolics

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  5. So very true - it's hilarious how our minds jump from one thing to another in a matter of seconds! I'm convinced it's because women multi-task so much - there are always 898 things fighting for attention in our brains. I'd quite like to give my OH a glimpse into what's going on in my head - he might understand why I'm so scatty! Great post. #FridayFrolics

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  6. Brilliant. I've often said I'd like a day where I could totally speak my mind. Like when the checkout person asks how I am "erm what's it got to do with you?". #fridayfrolics

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  7. Brilliant. I've often said I'd like a day where I could totally speak my mind. Like when the checkout person asks how I am "erm what's it got to do with you?". #fridayfrolics

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    Replies
    1. Or...no please...don't talk...I'm seriously not interested

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  8. Good to see I'm not alone!!

    mainy - myrealfairy

    #PoCoLo

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  9. Haha! Yes, it would be terrible for everyone involved for anyone to be going around reading minds! #fridayfrolics

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  10. Haha, brilliant! I couldn't agree more.
    Thanks for linking to #PoCoLo

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  11. I found this blog on Mostly blogging follow to follow list. I would appreciate the follow back. Thanks. www.pinsinanutshell.com

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  12. We do have some very random thought :) I wonder is it any better inside a man's head though hah! #mg

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  13. That's so funny! i love your two examples of what you can think of in one minute. If men had the possibility to read our mind, it would be hilarious. They would have a headache and won't be able to cope with it! They are not good at multi-tasking! And it's obvious that what we do all the time, even in our thought! #AnythingGoes

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  14. sorry I meant #mg. Doing all my linkies now!

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  15. Women are just superior in their ability to think of more than one thing at a time Suzy LOL:) Thanks for a delightful insight into the mind of women and mere males. Sue from Sizzling Towards Sixty #mg

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