GET OVER IT AND GET ON WITH IT

This blog means the world to me. It has helped me through many crises and been so therapeutic. But

in the last two weeks I have found it hard to write and that in itself is not too unusual for me. You see when Cowden's syndrome (CS) rears its ugly head, it drains me physically and mentally. People with a chronic disease will understand what I mean. It sometimes takes only a little bit of extra stress to render you incapable of much. And that's how its been.

It started with my eldest daughter visiting her neurologist and with him deciding that for health and safety reasons she needed to stop driving for the next 12 months. We suspected that this was coming but this did nothing to prepare us both for the shock when it arrived. My daughter was visibly shattered and I didn't blame her one iota. She is 22 and to lose your driving freedom at that age is a terrible thing. It makes you dependent on others at a time you crave independence.

But for those who know my daughter personally, you won't be surprised when I tell you that within a couple of hours, she had found positives in the situation. She was going to get fit walking. She was going to save lots of money on petrol and parking. She wasn't going to let this stupid disease win. How she always manages to find the good in every situation amazes me. It is a real gift. I am so proud of the woman she is becoming and how she steadfastly refuses to bow to CS.

Me on the other hand not so good. Your first reaction as a parent is to help, support and shield your child. It's an automatic reaction and God help anyone who gets in the way. I'll drive you. I'll be your personal chauffeur. You won't be disadvantaged or miss out, I promise. And then reality stepped in and yelled for me to stop it. I live 4 1/2 hours drive away. This was not always going to be possible and she would have to manage and sort it out herself most of the time. I was gutted, but I knew she would manage.

With all the above going on in the background, it was also time for two specialist appointments of my own. Let me tell you its been an expensive week! First stop the endocrinologist resulted in a blood test, a urine test and a bone scan. The bone scan lady looked excited that it was my first time. Please! Some people need to stop trying so hard. The second visit to the plastic surgeon resulted in removal of two lumps under a local anaesthetic. One of these was more like a growth than a lump and was above my lip. After months of people asking me what it was and my mother telling me to wipe my face after every meal (I'm almost 50), I decided to have it removed. Now it's gone people are still asking me what is wrong with my lip, but hopefully with time it will fade. Next week there will be more of the same. There will be more lumps removed, this time under general anaesthetic. Such an exciting life I lead...not. But at least no more pain for a while.

I spoke to a colleague today who has known me a long, long time. She asked how we were all going and I told her the truth that the last two weeks had been hard. We both agreed that despite the road blocks we have to navigate, life goes on, because there is no other choice. You wake up, put a smile on your face and get on with it. I used to have a sign in my classroom that the kids and I came up with. It said get over it and get on with it. And that's what we do. Some days having a chronic condition is more than I can bear. On those days I sleep, watch Netflix, cook and read. On other days, you throw the doona off and make yourself get out of bed, because if you don't this crappy condition wins. And we couldn't have that could we!

If you are someone going through a hard time, I hope in some way my mantra helps.

Till next time...xxx
ST