ITS OK TO HAVE CERTAIN EXPECTATIONS

I'm home! After two weeks in Perth I am home and it feels so good to be in my own house and to sleep in my own bed.

Just an update on how Ashton is going- in a word FANTASTICALLY. She looks great and sounds great and is busily studying for a university exam next Tuesday. My daughter is amazing. She has just had a seven hour embolisation procedure and she has bounced back into study and an exam.Still one procedure to go but still waiting for a time to be given to us.

My other daughter Ciara is pretty fantastic too! She works her butt off and this week on top of her part time jobs will be back on stage in a production called # A Little Rain must fall. I am so excited to see her back on stage and Mark and I will be going back to Perth to see her next Saturday. So that gives me five whole days at home!

Love, love, love my children.

Which leads me to the whole topic of Valentines Day and expectations. I try every year not to have expectations but just once I would love to open the door to a dozen red roses being delivered to me. I'm 48  and we've been married almost 24 years, so how long do I have to wait? Probably for ever!

Being on a budget this year I made my hubby a batch of Nutella brownies and bought a cute card for him. My husband is the best at choosing cards so I have learned to lift my game in this area. I waited for him to arrive from Geraldton and he walked in and said " Happy Valentines day" (good) , gave me a big hug and kiss (better) and immediately said " I got you nothing" (bad...very, very bad). Not even a card!

Now maybe its the gruff method of delivery but I got so, so upset. I have no idea why I got so upset but as my face dropped, he noticed pretty quickly. See, I believe that no matter how busy you are, you always find time to do certain things - ring people for birthdays, smile at people, attend special gatherings AND buy at least a card for Valentines day. OR, pinch a flower from someones garden for them OR walk in and say " I haven't had time to buy you anything but you know how much I love you".

It's all about the delivery! Never walk in and in under a minute say " I got you nothing". Its terrible!

Anyway, the reason I love my husband is because he hates to see me upset and does everything in his power to remedy his foot in mouth disease. Later while I had a nap he went off to the supermarket and returned with roses and a card. The card made me laugh out loud. The front said something about us clicking, but his comment is what got me laughing - "one click and I got you flowers!" See that's all it takes, a corny card or a verbal card. The supermarket roses - too late buttercup! Thanks for trying to remedy the situation but too late.

We agreed to go out for dinner, but of course everywhere was booked.As a last resort, I suggested we get takeaway and eat at home and he agreed. By the time the food was ready to pick up he was fast asleep. No problem! He had driven a long way, so I went to get the curry. I came back and he was still asleep, but I woke him up for our Valentines day dinner in the courtyard.


I set the table with my supermarket roses and we ate our curry and rice together under the stars. It was lovely and our daughter even went out and bought some red wine for us!

So, the moral of the story is - you don't have to spend lots of money on someone for Valentine's Day. Its nice if you can, but its not important. What is important is showing people how much they mean to you. Words chosen well and simple actions mean so much more - well to me anyway!

And by the way the Nutella brownies were yummy for dessert!

Till next time...xxx

PS If you enjoy my blog, the biggest compliment you can give me is to share it.


BY POPULAR DEMAND:

2-ingredient Nutella brownies by diethood.com.
Ingredients
1 cup of nutella
4 large eggs
1. Preheat oven to 175.
2. Line an 20cmx20cm brownie pan with baking paper; set aside.
3. Place the eggs in your mixer’s bowl and beat for 5 to 7 minutes, or until the eggs have tripled in size. This may take up to 10 minutes with a handheld mixer on high.
4. Heat the Nutella in the microwave for 60 seconds (in a microwave proof bowl).
5. Remove and stir.
6. Slowly pour a stream of the warm Nutella over the eggs, beating until mixture is thoroughly combined.
7. Pour batter into prepared pan and bake for 30 to 35 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out with very few crumbs.
8. Remove and let completely cool before cutting.
9. Dust with icing sugar. (Optional)
10. Cut into bars and serve.

Read more at http://www.mamamia.com.au/lifestyle/2-ingredient-nutella-brownies/#TBk1oh9W2lJyjkDh.99

ASHTON ACT 2

So, yesterday was a very,very long day. We waited eight hours before Ashton was taken to theatre. The delay was a giant aneurysm in another patient, so we had no option but to wait and exercise gratitude that we COULD wait.

Finally, at 3 o'clock she went in for what Dr HS called Ashton Act 2 ( funny bloke), and Mark and I left the hospital and went home for a nap. Well we tried to nap. I just stared at my ipad screen and counted down the hours. Eventually seven hours later the doctor rang. I will never understand how doctors can perform for such long periods of time.

He managed to remove most of the fistula and it's now downgraded to low. She will be returning to theatre soon for him to finish it off. To quote him " I'm not taking any chances on it regrowing". This is music to my ears because I want the bloody thing gone. She has a 21st birthday and a new uni year to deal with!

So we walked in to the high dependency unit this morning expecting to see someone looking somewhat washed out. Of course that didn't happen. She looked amazing and alert, tired but happy. That's how you recover folks! Her blood pressure is a little low, other than that she looks very well. My child is just amazing.

And now I want to say thankyou to everyone for yesterday's support. Please keep the prayers coming as there will be more procedures and she will need lifetime monitoring. I asked for a circle of prayer around her and we got that AND we could feel it. As Ashton was wheeled into theatre she said she felt calm and peaceful.

Apologies to those on my facebook page who have already seen these photos. They're all I've got at the moment and I just wanted everyone else to see her happy, well face.

Love and hugs.

Till next time...xxx

GET OVER IT AND GET ON WITH IT

Today I started reading a new blog I discovered called "State of Kind". (When you have a minute it can be found at 366randomacts.org ). It is quite simply one of the most inspiring things I have read in a while and it's made me think about a few things that have been going on lately in a different manner. The author wanted to make the world a better place for his young daughter, so he committed himself to doing 366 random acts of kindness. That's one per day and one into the new year. He simply wanted to show his daughter that there is good in this world ( not just bad) and we can all help spread this goodness by our actions.

Amidst all this is a parallel story of the author's other child diagnosed with a rare genetic disorder and the struggles this family and child go through. Familiar territory here and in fact the main reason I initially started reading the blog. It's not fair. Good people (like this family obviously are) should not have to struggle. In fact nobody should have to struggle like this, including me and my family. But as I say often, it is what it is, and we deal with it all one day and sometimes one hour at a time. This family appears no different in how they cope, heartbreaking though their situation is.

Another blogger and someone who has become a very good friend ( beatingcowdens.com) talks this week of what she can't control in her life and what she can choose to do. It seems to be the mantra of people who need a framework to cope. When my daughter asks " why me? " I've tried to teach her we have two choices. We can either sit and ponder and feel sorry for ourselves OR we can just get on with it! For those of you who read my last blog and laughed at the doctors names, that is one way we have devised of getting on with it. It's hard not to have a smile on your face when talking to someone you've secretly named Dr Sexy Pants!!!

Next week it's my turn to just get on with it. Yet another review date looms and a hot date with an MRI scanner. No sexy pants here just noise I'm afraid! I actually hate MRI because I'm claustrophobic but my Cowdens condition just doesn't give two hoots about that . It's a real case of get over it AND get on with it. I'm planning something nice after it's over though...a little reward for getting on with it.

I actually used to have that saying up in my classroom when I was teaching. The kids ( with a bit of steering from me) came up with it. They used to come up with every excuse under the sun to be disengaged or off task. Some were quite sad reasons, but we all agreed that at school we had to try and focus and get on with it, if we were to break out of the rut many of them already found themselves in at such a young age.      

Maybe the other reason the random acts blog touched me is because I have always taught my students and my daughters the benefit of doing something good for others when you feel life has been too hard on you. Over the years my students (with sometimes horrific family backgrounds), have joined together to run fundraisers or other events and for a moment the sheer act of being busy, doing something for others, takes their mind off their own problems. I will never forget the joy on a group of sixteen year olds faces when they produced a number of hampers for mothers in the community, who for various reasons needed a treat. Each one of these girls could have done with a treat herself, yet here they were  performing random acts of kindness and forgetting for a minute about their own situation...and loving it!

So really I've had a big reminder that sometimes I just have to get on with life because its so easy to get bogged down, especially when going through medical trauma. As of now I am starting my own private random acts of kindness mission to help me get on with it ie get on with life. If I

can't wave my magic wand and cure Cowdens or my daughters brain I can at least do some good while waiting for others to do it for me. As always I also have the greatest trust that it's all in God's most capable hands.

Till next time xxx

PS- Please share this with anyone you feel may need a lift ( or a kick up the bum ) and also do read the blogs I have mentioned. Amazing people!

PS2 - Do let me know what you think  xxx