IF YOU TRULY TRY, THEN THAT'S ENOUGH

        

So, after sitting for some time,once again looking for inspiration to pour out of my computer screen, I decided it wasn't happening and I was ready to go without a blog post this week. Within one minute of this thought and decision, the above quote appeared on Google plus. Some might say its coincidence, others divine intervention. Me I think its a kick in the butt to keep trying.

Now if the husband was here he would say I'm very "trying", so I just want to make it quite clear that the trying I am talking about has to do with effort and "carrying on" , not the one where someone is gritting their teeth at you in exasperation.

As I type, my FED (favourite eldest daughter) is sitting a university statistics exam. This is an important exam, because it is a compulsory unit and therefore can not be swapped out of. There is no way out of this except forward, which is a problem if you're not mathematically inclined and it all feels like mumbo jumbo. I know that Ashton has been very worried about this exam and has done her best to prepare for it, even deactivating her facebook account to minimise disruptions!

So, once you've done  your best to prepare, all you can do is get into the exam and give it a " red hot go". Try as hard as you can! Do your best and when its over walk out!

That is all anyone can expect of you - try your best! That doesn't always equate with success but it allows you to look yourself in the eye (use a mirror for best results) and say " I couldn't have done anything more. I tried my hardest". "After event" guilt only sets in when you know you haven't tried your hardest and that you haven't used the potential you have. That's my theory anyway and I'm sticking to it.

By the time my daughter reads this post, it will be all over and life will go on. That's a definite. Pass or fail, life goes on and sometimes it just needs to be all put into perspective. Tomorrow will come, the day after will too. When you've given your all, if its meant to be, it will be. Otherwise its a fork in the road and we change direction.

I hope not, because she loves this course apart from this one unit! Come on Ashton, you can do it!

I had a similar experience in my university years. I was studying to be a dentist (I think I've written about that before), but found the practical work to be too challenging. Looking back that's about the time my hand tremor was starting off. I tried my hardest but it wasn't to be. Two weeks after most people had completed their practical work, I was still sitting there and I snapped. Enough was enough. Effort does not always equate with success and that is a big life lesson to learn. Was I disappointed? Of course. But I had arrived at a fork in the road and had to change direction. Some things are not meant to be.

“Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure.”
― George E. Woodberry

Another "trying" event is taking place this Friday, when Ashton's medical team once again attempt to remove the fistula from her neck and to make sure that the place were the one in the brain was, is still behaving. For those who are new to our story, Ashton has had two serious AVM's ( arteriovenous malformations), which doctors have been trying (there's that word again) to tame for almost two years. This is a serious condition and one which has tried to control our lives for two years now.

My daughter is strong and feisty and she will beat this. At the very least she will get to a stage where it is manageable.

The last time Ashton had surgery, I asked for a circle of prayers worldwide. It gave me comfort to know that the arms of prayer were encircled around my daughter.  Could I please ask for this again this Friday 12th June? Please at some time during the day thank the good Lord for what he has done for us so far and for blessings on Ashton's doctors to further their work. Her father, sister and I together with our extended family would really appreciate this.

If you could just leave your country in the comments, I will enjoy telling Ashton how far and wide her prayer circle has extended.

Thank you in advance and may God bless you all xx

Till next time...xxx

SWEET AS SUGAR

Every woman in my husband's side of the family is a good cook. So gatherings such as the one we had for Mother's Day are a gastronomic delight and it's so easy to lose yourself in sugary delights if you are not careful.

The husband is in heaven on these occasions. Born with a seemingly sweet tooth, he dives head first into the table of goodies only to surface eventually with a glazed look of pleasure on his sugary, comatose face.

But even I (his wife of 24 years) was astounded by his achievements on Mothers Day. Obviously celebrating his role as a mother ( or maybe paying homage to his mother and the mother of his children) he took longer than usual to re-enter the stratosphere. He was a guts.

Having been lately bombarded about the dangers of sugar ( wasn't it fat last week?), my concern for his love of all things sweet, the hidden sugar in our food and the associated risk of sugar diabetes was at an all time high. Let's face it, neither of us is getting any younger. I decided an intervention was needed...URGENTLY.

Now don't get me wrong. I like the odd bit of dark chocolate, the odd cupcake, the occasional tim tam or two. But I'm nowhere in my husband's league. He eats dessert every day. He can sniff out lollies and chocolate even when well hidden. If cake is frozen, not a problem, he'll eat it frozen and don't buy cooking chocolate for future projects before going away, because it sure as hell won't be there when you get home. He is a sugar addict, who will even go on late night " trips" to satisfy an icecream craving.

Yes...definitely intervention time. In fact long overdue.

He looked horrified when I told him that there was over a teaspoon of sugar in each muesli bar. Add that to three pieces of fruit and anything else his human shovel mouth devoured and I think I made my point. I threw out the remaining Anzac biscuits and hid the remaining chocolate slice from mother's day at the very back of the freezer. In retrospect I should have thrown that out too. But it cost me so much money, I just couldn't throw it out and just hoped he wouldn't find it!

Now to keep my part of the deal.

A week later I flew to Perth leaving him to his own devices. My mother, ever the cynic said he would cheat at every opportunity without me around. I could only shrug my shoulders and say "probably", because she is more than likely right. But, he's a grown man and I'm his wife not his mother and he could take responsibility or get diabetes. Choice was his. I had my own "lack of sugar" problems to deal with.

Why is it when you deny yourself anything, it suddenly seems so appealing? Biscuits develop a voice ( eat me, eat me). Lollies cry out " buy me, buy me" and icecream...do not mention Ben and Jerry's and Perth and available in one sentence PLEASE.

OF COURSE on the plane to Perth my coffee came with a chocolate fudge cookie. In all the years I've caught that damn flight there have never been chocolate fudge cookies. It's a conspiracy I tell you. I said "no thank you" to the air hostess and she looked perplexed. It's as if she was thinking " but all fat people like chocolate fudge cookies". She asked me if I wanted it for later. I felt quite smug saying "no thank you"again and choosing instead the dry spinach and ricotta something that notaste.com specially made for this flight.

The next few days were easy. I said no to cake with a girlfriend. I made her order hers and watched her eat it, so I could develop my inner strength.She thought I was nuts. I said no to Greek biscuits at my sister's house ( that was hard cos I love them) and I watched my kids eat chocolate, without indulging in it myself. I did however have one small fail. My sisters mother in law made white chocolate slice and cut such a small piece for me it really didn't count. In fact they were so small, I ate two. Besides she has come all the way from the UK. It would have been rude to say no. OK, excuses, excuses -fail!

The following day some germ riddled person passed me their bugs and I was struck down with gastro. Not only was sugar not interesting, neither was any food whatsoever. As I recovered I ate plain food like bananas and toasted sandwiches but I craved lemonade.Gastro needs lemonade for

Lemonade and lemons = no connection

recovery. We all know that...right? So, as I type this I admit to failure number 2. I am sipping lemonade and I'm horrified to find that there are 61g of sugar in my bottle of lemonade. Half way through the bottle a headache strikes. Wow that's a powerful message. I haven't had any headaches since cutting back on sugar. My skin has been blemish free and I've been sleeping like a baby.

So, as I sit in the airport waiting to fly home, I hang my head in shame at my second lack of personal strength but then raise it in pride as I throw a half drunk bottle of lemonade in the bin. I feel like yelling, " did you all see what I just did! I threw the sugar drink out. It doesn't even taste good."

The flight home is another conspiracy this time involving choc chip cookies. Ok God you can stop testing me. Recovered from my lemonade slip up I don't even react or touch the pack. Even when they asked nicely for me to open them I pretended not to hear. Who needs those little round pieces of chocolatey goodness in their lives?

Home and time to compare notes. Mum was right. He did well for a couple of days and then discovered the left over chocolate slice. I knew I should have chucked it in the bin. It just seemed such a waste of money. He did have one victory though. He realised that he felt a lot better the first week than the second, so as of today we are back on deck

Just before signing off here are excellent articles on sugar you may wish to read. It makes perfect sense when written like this. Off to put the remaining chocolate slice in the bin

Till next time...xxx

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-17122/the-7-deadly-truths-of-sugar.html


http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/well-good/motivate-me/68691969/21-reasons-to-eat-less-sugar-that-have-nothing-to-do-with-losing-weight