THINGS I WAS NEVER TOLD ABOUT MEN

I was just watching TV and the Morning Show hosts were discussing a celebrity couple who have been married for 24 years. They said that was a "pretty solid" relationship and I agree. The husband and I are at 24 years and I'd like to think we too are solid. Sometimes I joke it's two and a half life sentences and counting ...but only sometimes I promise.

Marriage is hard work and yes that's on both sides dear. But as I can't give you a male perspective, I thought I'd share with you some things I have discovered during marriage. Maybe we could say they are some things no woman ever told ME about MY husband to avoid being accused about generalising.

1. Say you have two bathrooms and say one is blue and one is cream. And let's pretend that you have spent time coordinating accessories to make these bathrooms beautiful. Men don't get that the blue towels are for bathroom A and cream towels are for bathroom B. They will stand proudly because they've put the two towels out ( one of each colour) and not ever consider it a problem that they've just wiped their greasy hands on the towels you have saved for guests. They just don't get it!

2. And say you've spent a fortune on Tupperware and your pantry is beautiful. Every section looks like it came out of the Tupperware catalogue, and you glow with pride when your female friends come round, because you want to create the illusion that you are as organised as your pantry. And say you go away and on your return you just have to stand in shock, because an earthquake has obviously taken place in your absence. Everything is now out of order and all over the place, and is the visual version of a headache. And nestled amongst the sugar which is now in the rice container and rice which is now in the flour container, lie torches, batteries and enough wire to construct a small machine. But that's OK apparently because the shopping has been done and put away. They just don't get it!

3. And let's talk about clothes. Do all men undress all over the house or is it just mine? In the morning there is a trail where he has been. Tracksuit pants are in one room. Top is in another. The following morning the same picture with new items, because he has forgotten where he left yesterday's lot. Is it so hard to undress in the bedroom and leave your clothes there? They just don't get it!

4.  Hubby recently bought me a box of Lindt chocolates for our wedding anniversary. I thought this was so sweet, but as I try to watch my weight, I put them at the top of the pantry where I could grab one occasionally. Bad move. I NEVER saw those chocolates again. I also never saw the cooking chocolate or the emergency pack of biscuits I keep hidden should visitors drop in. Marriage ownership laws are as follows from a male perspective. What's mine is mine and I will hide in my shed while I devour it, in the hope you don't blast me or catch me out. What's yours is ours, if its something I like. And as I pretty much like everything you try to hide, forget it. I will continue to buy you gifts of this nature because I'm a great husband and I like buying my wife chocolates. I will occasionally leave you one white Lindt ball because I am such a good bloke. I don't like white chocolate. It is not flaming chocolate. If it was it would be BROWN!!! They just don't get it!

5. And while we are on the subject of food, I hate to tell you this but men don't care about food as long as they get to eat the bloody stuff. Many times I have plated up something special and waited for a compliment. And waited...and waited to no avail. But try serving up quinoa and you will never hear the end of it. Try also making him muesli bars to minimise the processed junk he eats and he will tell

you how yummy they are, and eat them all plus the commercial muesli bars. Try accidentally on purpose not buying the muesli bars and he will make a special trip to Woolworths to buy some. Try getting him to go to Woolworths with you on any other day and you would have more luck watching grass grow. They just don't get it!

6. Which brings me to something else which grows - hair. Why is it that they can not see that your hair has changed colour since the morning? Why is it they can't see that your head is perfectly groomed? And if you bring up the topic they try to suck up to you saying "you always look nice. Why would I notice?" Yet they'll always find the cost on the credit card bill and tell you how it cost $20 to cut his hair so why is mine so much? They just don't get it do they?

Yes, folks marriage is not for the faint hearted. It requires patience, patience and more patience. And the occasional bit of "head banging" on the walls - preferably his head not yours!

Love you hubby

Till next time...xxx

GUEST POST - WELCOME JEN FROM NANNA'S WISDOM

My family has a real problem with food allergies. Most of us are lactose intolerant and allergic to sulphur. My sister is allergic to red meat (!) and is also a coeliac. That's a hard life to maintain. Last night I tried to have a glass of red wine with my dinner. Usually I have an anti sulphur spray but I had run out. I stupidly thought I could risk it and ended up with red, swollen hands. Damn that sulphur.
 I had the great honour last week of being guest blogger on the blog Nanna's Wisdom. (http://lumpyone.blogspot.com.au/2015/07/yes-ive-got-news.html)This week its Jen's turn to be my guest blogger and when out of frustration with my allergies, I suggested this topic, she took up the challenge.She makes some really interesting points.

 Allergies - We Do Not Want Them

Have you noticed how many people have allergies these days? I know for sure it is not because we are getting weaker as humans but rather us humans are changing the way things are or should be.

Many people think that we are living longer these days but I hate to be the bearer of bad news, it is actually a fallacy, a myth put out there by pharmaceutical companies . We like to think that with modern research and advancement with medicines that we are curing diseases, and do not get me wrong we are doing some brilliant work.

You need to look back 120 years and you may understand my statement , and by way of figures we certainly are living longer now, but take a closer look. We have had 4 wars in that time in which there were hundreds of thousands killed, including woman and children. This makes the average age very low compared to modern times. So can we really say we are living longer, I will leave that one up to you.

We in today's society are seeing more food allergies , so why have they suddenly appeared? We did not hear of nut allergies or gluten intolerance or dairy allergies when I was growing up. Were they around and I was just not aware of them?

Our food is not like it was 50 years ago, it is grown with chemicals , pesticides, herbicides on our fruit and veg ,medicated foods in our meat. The nutrient values are changing at an alarming rate.

Just take a look at this study on fresh fruit and veg done in Japan.

Processed food

Not only is our food changing in the way it is grown, but also the way it is processed for us. Take our humble milk that we have had all our life. When I was growing up milk was delivered to the door in glass bottles with a thick layer of cream. Today's milk is far from this natural creamy product.

I was in the supermarket the other day and had my attention made to a big stack of can soup, advertised as " healthy & hearty winter warmers". Okay they may warm the belly on a cold winters day , but honestly " healthy & hearty" they were not. These cans were so high in sodium, saturated fats and of course those nasty things like flavour enhancers, stabilizers, artificial colouring. Prepackaged instant just heat and serve meals are great for the non cook or just in a hurry meal but ...... fresh is best.

All these things that are added to our food is not natural for our bodies. We were never meant to be consuming additives like MSG, enhancers or stabilisers. Our poor bodies have no other option but to react in the way of allergies. Okay some people are lucky; nothing ever affects them , but I know several people that suffer allergies, all coming from different walks of life and all having different health issues.

 I for one have an allergy to the sun, yes the sun. How you how ask? Well I will explain.

I have what is called Solar Urticaria , and only developed it in my early 40s, when I started having breakouts of  raised burning welts all over my skin that itched for a week after . I had no idea what it was. What I did know that it always happened outside and on my exposed skin. Eventually I was diagnosed .  This happened because of a reaction I had with some medication making me super sensitive to UV . The medication was made from artificial chemicals and full of things that give you side effects.

So What Can We Do?

We cannot change the way things are grown or made but we can change the way we personally eat and live.

Here are few things that can help you stay a bit healthier by staying away from the bad things .

•  If you can buy organic , it may cost you a little more but I find it hard to put a price on my health. Local markets are good but make sure the produce are organically grown, if there is no sign stating organic then the chances are it has had contact with chemicals.

•  Remember any  processed food ( including take away) are usually high in all the things you do not want to be consuming like fats, sugars, salt.

•  Fruit , vegetables, grains and meat are mostly farmed on the larger scales so it is highly likely that the use of herbicides, pesticides , fertilisers and even antibiotics are used. So is this leaching into our foods? My opinion is yes.

•  Cook from scratch. If you want soup , then make it at home. Soup is so easy to make and if you use fresh raw ingredients you cannot go wrong. Cooking from home with even the basic knowledge in the kitchen can produce some mighty fine food that is full of flavour and hopefully nutrients. Bake your biscuits and cakes.

•  If you are lucky enough to own a Thermomix or similar then you can make so much , like all your own pastes for your curries and the likes. Fresh chutney, pickles, jams etc are all too easy in one of these wonderful machines.

•  Try growing some veggies and herbs at home. Use natural sprays like garlic to keep the bugs away. You will find they taste so good compared to store bought.

•  There are chemicals in our shampoos, hand & face creams, deodorants , sunscreens and our cleaning goods, ( just to name a few) but we do have a choice to change to chemical free. Even if it is only one thing at a time, it all helps.

 I think we all need to get back to the basics, what are your thoughts?

_________________________________________________________________________

Thank you Jen for your really interesting post. If you would like to follow Jen on any of her social media accounts , all the links are below for you to click away on!

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Nannas-Wisdom/267832290091071?fref=ts

PINTEREST: https://www.pinterest.com/tootie2208/

TWITTER: https://twitter.com/TootieJen

JEN

GOOGLE PLUS: https://plus.google.com/u/0/+JenniferAbel2208/posts

Till next time...xxx

ST

PS - HAVE YOU ORDERED YOUR BOOK YET????
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B011BBGHBW?refRID=C114P1CABC89B6VE0FY9&ref_=pd_rhf_ee_p_img_1 

YES, I'VE GOT NEWS

Hi Folks, 

Today I am putting in a plug for my first ever book which will be released digitally on August 31. This book means a lot to me because writing it has helped me keep my sanity during some very problematic years.

ONE LUMP OR TWO? is available for pre-order now by clicking the link below. Please consider supporting me and my efforts, to advocate for the genetic condition my daughter, some friends and I all live with. Cowden's syndrome is largely unknown and I hope in my small way to increase awareness of this condition.

Here is the very lengthy link :

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B011BBGHBW/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B011BBGHBW&linkCode=as2&tag=bktwtr1-20&linkId=BPDLETKJMB2IYCWW

 Now onto tonight's post:

Blogging has opened up many doors for me. Recently, I have had the privilege of writing for many online magazines which I have shared on my social media accounts. It gives me such a buzz to see someone else publish my work.

Another advantage of blogging are the friendships you make. When I started blogging, almost two years ago I never expected this and so it has come as a happy surprise two years down the track to find I now have so many new friends all over the world.

The first blogger I ever met from my home state of Western Australia was Jen from the blog Nanna's Wisdom. I was drawn to her wonderful, country style recipes and life and look forward to her posts and link parties every week.

This week I am delighted to be the guest blogger on Nanna's Wisdom. Please click on the link below to take you to this post and Jen's wonderful blog.I'm sure you will be signing up for regular updates too. Jen will in turn be my guest on this blog next week and i know she has something really interesting up her sleeve.

Enjoy and DON'T FORGET TO PRE - ORDER YOUR BOOK!!! 

         THANKS FOR HAVING ME JEN XXX

http://nannaswisdom.com/overwhelmitis-guest-post/

Till next time...xxx ST

DEFEATED

I know more than most that you get good days and you get bad days. I'm also old enough to know that a bad day will be followed by a good day and often vice versa. But what is new today is the feeling of complete and utter defeat. That feeling I'm unfamiliar with.

Today I'm throwing up my hands in defeat. I give up. And I can thank the medical profession for this, because today one of their own broke me.

Now you don't go to a mechanic and tell them how to fix your car, so you wouldn't go to a medical specialist and tell him how to fix you. But the mechanic listens when you tell him what's wrong with your car and what you think may have caused it. He doesn't dismiss your questions or your comments or pretend to know how to fix your sports car when he's not worked on one before. Not all medical practitioners do that. Somewhere along the line, some become overwhelmed by their own importance and forget that a basic tenet of the Hippocratic oath is to serve. "And I will use treatments for the benefit of the ill in accordance with my ability and my judgment, but from what is to their harm and injustice I will keep them." An overview of the oath is at http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/7654432.stm if anyone would like to read about it.

Well here is a list of what harms me and has harmed me. Here is a list of what makes my load heavier than normal to carry:

1. When I come to some of you I'm scared. You harm me when your overbearing manner adds to my fear.
2. When I come to you and I need to share, and you cut me down you harm me again.
3. When you pre-judge my condition based on the extra weight I'm carrying this is an injustice.
4. When you're not sure about my condition, say so. I don't mind that you don't know. But I do know and I have some ideas to help you serve me to the best of your ability. If you don't let me do so, this again is an injustice.
5. When I have to pretty much raise my hand to speak, because your constant stream of words never ends, I feel belittled, humiliated and beaten.
6. When this condition sucks the life out of me and you drain what's left, I'm quite simply defeated.

The same doctor once said to me ( speaking about himself of course) that sleep is a good healer. Well I'm off to sleep and tomorrow I will re - group if I feel healed. At the moment I just feel defeated.

Till next time...xxx

PS - on the countdown till my first ever book is released. Please consider supporting me by clicking on the following link:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011BBGHBW/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_dp_7LfOvb1JR95NF

I'VE DONE IT, I'VE DONE IT, I'VE DONE IT!

The other day I sat looking at the manuscript for a book I spent ages writing but had just thrown aside in despair. The only publishers who were interested in it were either "dodgy" or wanted me to pay half the costs involved. Being a one income family, I could not justify spending the money to get my book published, even though I really wished I could, so I could have a hard copy and something to show for recent hard times.

If it were not for Ciara taking me to task ,I would never have finished the book in the first place and nor would I have sent it out to publishers. But I did and with no success on the publishing front, simply gave up. That is till this week when I remembered that "giving up" is not in my nature.


Suddenly the other day I thought, I can't afford to publish a hard copy but there is nothing stopping me publishing a digital copy. And thanks to #Amazon,  that's what I have done. It was a huge challenge and it took me about ten shots before I was pleased with the final upload. But I've done it. It's on Amazon for pre-order and will be released on Mark's birthday (31st August) OR when I have 100 pre-orders (what ever comes first!).

Now all I need is your support. Its not about the money otherwise it would be more than $2.99 USD and $4 AUD. What is driving me is the ability to advocate for those with Cowden's syndrome, a rare disease which both my daughter and I have and one which precious few people know about.

Having a rare disease brings significant challenges and God knows, the last two years especially have thrown them all at me. It's hard when doctors haven't heard of what you have, don't know how to treat you and sit back in disbelief when you are back with something new in a short time. It's hard holding down a job, paying bills and making ending meet. It's hard waiting for a time bomb to potentially explode.

But despite all this, most people I have encountered with Cowden's syndrome are as Australians say "real troopers". They are tough men, women and children and it is only fair and right I don't give up and give this a go.

IF YOU WISH TO PRE-ORDER A COPY, HERE IS THE LINK:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011BBGHBW

AND HERE IS THE BLURB THAT GOES WITH BOOK:

 I am an Australian wife, mother and teacher and I have Cowden's syndrome. This is a rare genetic condition which effects 1 in 200 000. Cowden's syndrome is caused by a damaged gene which usually controls cell growth. As the gene is faulty I grow tumours ( lumps) all the time and am at a higher risk than most for cancer. This is why my blog on social media is called " Chronicles of a Lumpy person". Writing the blog has helped me cope by sharing my story and the challenges I have faced in my life.
In 2013 another story unexpectedly unfolded when my daughter was diagnosed with a life threatening medical condition of her own. So far she has required 15 major procedures (including two craniotomies) in her brain. It is highly likely I have passed on the defective gene to her.
Dealing with my own condition is very hard but watching your child go through her own hell is heart breaking. I never imagined my story would unfold in this way and unfortunately we haven't seen the end yet.
I'm not a famous author, nor am I an expert in editing. I'm just a Mum on a journey to advocate for a very rare condition. Together with my daughter, I'm also on a mission to show that " giving up" gets you nowhere

 Till next time...xxx

LOSS

The last few weeks have been all about the word " loss".

Loss of children when they went back to the city.
Loss of dignity while on telephone to medical agencies (see previous post).
Loss of patience...subsequently regained.
Loss of friendship...ball is in someone's court.
Loss of time (aka a birthday).
And then there was the loss of someone I never knew personally, but a loss which has shaken Australia to its core - the murder of a well known football coach by his son, while on the drug Ice.

I will never ever understand what people gain from taking drugs which destroy on so many levels. Its bad enough taking drugs to keep you well, as I have to do, but to take non prescription medication knowing whats likely in it for you, I just don't get.

I don't get a lot of things.

Last night a friend and I went to see a concert by the runner up of the last Australian X Factor. This is a man whose voice is beyond fabulous and whose guitar skills are beyond fantastic. It was a concert we had both looked forward to for a long time.

The concert was a casual affair in a local pub and was mainly attended by people of my age group (40+). I know a pub concert involves drinking, but the lengths that some go to get totally and utterly smashed had me shaking my head. Really! Still! You're in your 40's and you're still drinking to obliterate yourself. Surely you've grown out of that phase by now? Obviously not.

I can forgive the few 18 year olds who are trying to grow up, even the annoying as hell one who I was sure was about to share his regurgitated drink on me soon. I can tolerate the girl of roughly the same age wearing a dress that no doubt doubles as a hanky (does she not have a mother?). But as I stood watching an obviously drugged and drunk woman of my age, sway uncontrollably all over the floor I felt nothing but pity for her. And the sad thing is she was not the only one.

Drugs and alcohol are killing our country.

We met a lovely woman last night who told us she had three children on ice. What an absolute tragedy, especially so because this is no longer unique. Its in the media continuously . A female friend who is a medical doctor told me recently that the vast majority of her drug patients are in the middle age bracket. That was obvious by the behaviour of some last night. It was so, so sad.

My younger daughter works at a major function centre in the city as an usher. She has often said that the "oldies" have worse behaviour than younger concert goers. As I picked her up from work one night, the evidence to back this up was obvious, with grown women my age vomiting in the bushes and semi - conscious lying on the footpath.

I seriously don't care if anyone thinks I am an old "fuddy duddy" because of what I am writing. I had 3 drinks last night - one non-alcoholic with dinner, one alcoholic during the concert and a water to re-hydrate - and I had a fabulous time. News flash -you can have a good time without copious amounts of alcohol!

I used to think that adults set the example for the young. I am wondering whether for my generation this is actually true. A lot of young people go through a drinking phase, but surely there comes a time when you need to grow the hell up. Its time that actually happened for some people...don't you think?

Rant over.

Till next time...xxx

MANNERS PLEASE

People have been commenting that I haven't been posting as regularly. In a way take that as good news because it means that nothing is going very wrong on the health front. Nothing is going very right either, but you know what I mean.

Today I had to deal with one of the issues that people with health challenges often have to deal with - paperwork. Ashton has been having treatment at the same hospital with the same medical team for two years. We choose for her to be treated as a private patient in a government hospital, not because it changes her treatment but because its our way of paying back. The government hospital get a financial kickback if you sign in as a private patient.

For two years there has been no problem. Then suddenly a paperwork war broke out regarding bills from hospital treatment in February this year. It has escalated and escalated in that time, with the company dealing with hospital accounts, Medicare, our private health insurer and ourselves all becoming involved. The company said we hadn't paid the bill. We said we had. You can just imagine the ensuing chaos and the embarrassment of letters outlining avenues they will be following if these bills are not paid yesterday.

What gets me is how easily people are ready to blame someone else. Accounts blamed us. Medicare blamed accounts. Private health blamed accounts and Medicare. And I felt like ripping my hair out. My daughter and I are meticulous in paying accounts. Why would this suddenly have changed?

The other thing that gets me is how rude people can be on the telephone. I can not understand what people gain from a surly tone over the phone and a manner bordering on rudeness. I just wish some of them would walk a day in my shoes and see how they would cope, dealing with rude people on top of everything else I have to cope with. I wish they could see how they are finally the straw that breaks the camel's back.

The mystery today was finally solved. It was a human error made on accounts behalf. Rather than apologising, the woman whose tone has made me cry said that she was curious which of her colleagues was responsible. She sounded nasty. I hope she finds it was herself and that it brings her down a peg or two.

There is never any call for treating people without the basics of decency. Those who do so while hiding behind a computer or a telephone are the worst of the lot.

Till next time...xxx