A FISHY SITUATION

It's pouring with rain outside and I'm sitting on the couch with the husband, watching a really boring fishing programme on TV. The FED ( favourite eldest daughter) is busy doing uni work and the FYD (favourite youngest daughter) is off rehearsing her latest production. It is a quiet Saturday afternoon and for once we are a normal family doing normal things!

Earlier this week however was anything but normal. You may remember that the husband and I booked into a local hotel overlooking the beach, to celebrate his birthday and have a bit of together time. Remember- festival, Bunnings etc??? Well, no sooner had I posted that blog everything changed.

The husband had a very busy birthday. Breakfast was with the girls at a beachside cafe. Afternoon tea was with my family at a different beachside cafe. It was a fun day, give or take a Bunnings visit which still beggars belief.

After a full couple of days celebrating we were both quite tired in the evening. So, because of this (plus I also wanted to watch X Factor), we decided to order room service. The husband has never ordered room service so this was a very special treat. He ordered fish and chips followed by cheesecake. I ordered nachos. We opened a bottle of birthday red and it was all just lovely!

Till about 2am when I suddenly became aware that all was not well adjacent to me. Groans and moans continued for a while , until suddenly the bathroom was needed urgently and he was violently ill. This continued for a few hours. I have never ever seen my husband so ill. It had to be food poisoning! It had to be the fish or the cheesecake, because I was fine.

Yet again illness was ruining something special.

I rang reception and told them what the situation was and asked them to call a doctor. They were horrified when I told them I believed he had food poisoning. 

The doctor wasn't much use. He gave the husband a needle and said that he couldn't be sure if it was food poisoning or a virus. Very diplomatic for a doctor who makes a living seeing sick patients in hotels! I hardly think he'd jeopardise that little junket do you? He then billed me an exorbitant amount of money (which had to be paid immediately) and off he trotted...leaving me with a husband " sick as a dog".

My husband was so sick there was no way I was going to be able to move him. Therefore,I had to extend our stay. Another two days...more cost. Surely the hotel would be generous? Surely...not. We got a lowered rate, but not free accomodation. Remember this situation was their fault!

The chef was apparently mortified.

The chef was checking the fish.

I hope he gave his staff a lecture about food hygiene while he spoke to the fish. 

The quickness at which the vomiting began usually indicates something like poor hand washing. I bet I'm right! If only I could prove it.

Over the two days the manager tried to make amends.

Can we give you dinner for two?

Er... You've got to be joking!

Is there anything we can do for you?

Give me free accomodation.

We can't do that.

Then there's nothing you can do.

We would like to give you a key to the club room.

( interest)...what's that?

You get free drinks, free canapés, free breakfast.

Well that's perfect! ( no good for husband but hey if you're offering free drinks, who am I to say no?)

And that's where I posted my last blog from, at the top of the hotel overlooking the ocean on a perfect sunny day. I could have sworn I saw a dolphin, but the husband ( yes he came too) said I'd had one too many.

We checked out and I checked the bill...$91 room service!

" You've  got to be joking me! That's a bit extravagant for salmonella!"The room service charge was removed and we left with a story to tell and a bit of a bad taste in our mouths. Oh well!

If anyone could tell me why drama and illness follows me and my family, I would love to know. Situation out of control!

Till next time...xxx

THE STORY OF TIM AND TAM

So we are back in our home town in the Midwest for rest and recuperation. Not happy that we have left my youngest daughter in the city alone but she is busy in an acting course and we wouldn't have seen her anyway. But not happy regardless.

Hello house.

Hello bed

Hello my spot ( think Sheldon on Big Bang).

The FED and I are home.

The husband appears pleased and immediately asks what's for dinner. It's a well used joke to which I reply " whatever you're cooking". 

We settle into our favourite parts of the house. The FED occupies zone 1 (couch and TV). I get zone 3 ( my bedroom - bliss!) and the husband gets zone 2 ( kitchen, fridge , kettle and computer). We are generous to each other and share the bathrooms. 

Zone 1 and zone 3 are at opposite ends of the house which can be a problem when you wish to communicate with the other person and refuse to budge on the grounds of laziness. If that other person happens to be a young person recently returned home after multiple surgeries it proves harder.

You could yell out... but the TV will be up or she will have earphones in and wont hear you.

You could phone her but she'll undoubtedly  be out of credit.

You could text her but that seems to be a form of communication dying out with the young.

Or...you can Facebook her which will guarantee immediate success as not only has her brain been surgically manipulated, but her new iPad ( thank you Telstra) is never far, and I'm starting to think surgically attached to her hand.

As this was a significant question I chose to Facebook. ( when did that word become an acceptable verb????).

Mum: are there any Timtams left?
FED: there's one left.

Mum: could you bring it to me?

FED: I'd have to take it through enemy territory ( zone 2)...could be risky.

True...the husband is renowned for being able to sniff out a sweet treat from miles away let alone a couple of metres.

Mum: you're a secret agent delivering an important package. You're agent Tim.

FED: delivering to agent Tam?...but I'm the boss ok?

Mum: you can be the boss. Just bring me the bloody Timtam before your father sniffs it.

But she persists!

FED: it's a bit like consultant and registrar. I'm the consultant and you're the registrar. I get to boss you around.

And that's where I cracked up laughing because suddenly I realised her consultant is Dr Tim and his registrar is Dr Tan which is too close to Tam to not be funny. 

Timtan a new biscuit,

The biscuit was carried through enemy territory at a fast speed and eaten at an even faster speed, before "he who sniffs out everything" could register... although he knew something was up because I was laughing so much.

It's good to laugh. It's been too long.

Today my girl flies back to rejoin her sister in the big city. It is almost a month since the last surgery and she is still looking so well. I pinch myself every morning and pray fervently for this to continue and for her life to continue to improve.

As Dr Tim says, " we remain cautiously optimistic". 

Till next time ...xxx