ON A FINAL NOTE FOR 2014

Dear God, we have to talk. 

For many years now I have got to this date and looked back in horror at the year that has been. Yet again, I find myself in this predicament. What's going on God? My year has been a bit like that joke going around, where someone asks Santa for a slim body and a fat purse and he gets it all mixed up, and the person gets a fat body and a slim purse.

I am feeling a tad ripped off AGAIN!

Now I know that you know what you're doing, but do you think I could maybe offer a few suggestions to guide you for next year...cos it must be difficult dealing with so many people and so many stories.

Firstly God, a bit of overall health in this family wouldn't go astray. It's not that we don't like hanging around hospitals checking out the cute medical students. It's just wearing a bit thin and it costs a small fortune in parking fees.

Second request if it's ok. I would like to stop feeling like I'm constantly waiting for the next thing to go wrong. It's sort of getting on my nerves and making me into a bigger stress head than I already am.

Thirdly a Lotto win must be on the cards...right? 

By the way God, here's a little something I thought I'd share with you cos it hasn't been ALL bad ALL the time. Here are some highlights from 2014.

2014 LUMPY CHRONICLES AWARDS

MOST POPULAR POST - Introducing Ashton GUEST BLOGGER ( my smarty pants daughter took out top post for the year on my blog. Over 1100 people read her posting.

MOST POPULAR ON GOOGLE PLUS - 'Twas the week before Christmas ( hard market to crack and suddenly I hit the jackpot).

MOST SURPRISING LOCATION WHERE BLOG IS READ - Ukraine ( ?)

LEAST SURPRISING LOCATION WHERE BLOG IS READ - Australia

HAPPIEST MEMORY IN 2014 - the Eagles and 96fm visit to our girl in hospital.

COMMUNITY SERVICE AWARD - +Telstra for iPad and modem to our girl

NICEST PEOPLE ON EARTH AWARD - +Midwest Charity begins at Home team

PERSON OF THE YEAR - Dr Hot Stuff 


Till next year...xxx
Please like and share.

ST

WHAT ARE YOUR NEW YEAR WISHES?

Today for a moment everything felt so " normal". The husband was mowing the lawn, the favourite youngest daughter ( FYD), home for a visit was cooking and I sat quietly sipping my new vanilla coffee from Bali. We attended church in the morning and had friends call over mid morning. We then had family and more friends come to visit in the afternoon and exchanged Christmas greetings and cards and caught up on all the gossip.

I remember telling students not to use the word " nice" because it was too general. Well, I'm about to break my own rule because today was " nice". It made me feel good. It made me feel normal. As I said to my sister in law, you could almost think the problems in this family are finished, that all is well and life is peaceful.

I wish that was the case. 

Christmas will come and then we will see in another year where only God knows what is in store for us with doctors, hospitals etc. In the meantime we wait and go through the motions of Christmas and New Year. 

This year I'm done with New Year's resolutions so there will be none from me. How can you keep resolutions when your life is continually messed about?  Instead of resolutions I'm compiling a list of my New Year's wishes. I've thought long and hard about these. What do you think?

For the FED ( favourite eldest daughter) I wish good health and a body that does what it should do. I wish her inner strength to continue and her determination to fight to never leave her. I wish her continued success in studies and for the world to know what she is capable of.

For the FYD I wish patience and self knowledge. I wish for her to have a family life that does not revolve around medical drama and for her own inner strength to deal with it, if this can't be granted. I wish her opportunities to sing, dance, act and everything that makes her and others around her happy.

For the husband I wish a never ending bottle of Bintang beer and more opportunities to rest. I wish the weight of the world off his shoulders and ( now I'm pushing it), a money tree to grow in the back yard.

For myself I wish stamina to last the distance, even when the end posts are moved. I wish patience to accept what I can't control or change and the energy to push on regardless.

I hope you have the chance to make some wishes of your own.

Till next time...xxx

'TWAS THE WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS...

I am such a stress head. Even in beautiful Bali I had to remind myself that I was on holiday and I had to tell my brain to relax and not worry about anything . I'd like to say I'm out of practice at relaxing, but that would be a load of polly-waffle because I've always been an anxious sort, a worrier...and sometimes I feel I'm just getting worse.

And no matter how hard I try to not let it worsen , the anxiety breaks through. In the last few days the incident in Sydney has left a lot of people ( not just me), with worry lines etched into their faces. How is it possible that this horrible event unfolded in our beautiful country? Is this an indication of the life our children and grandchildren will forever be exposed to?

It just seems lately that nowhere is really a " worry free zone". Our beautiful town appears to have had an increase in break ins and theft. Whether this is actually an increase, or it's just more known about due to social media, is hard to know. But the worry seed is sown regardless . And of course being Australian, we refuse to remain housebound and town bound because of the actions of a few. We go about our day, we secure our home, we exercise caution and we worry...or at least I do.

Currently the husband and I are in the car returning home. MORE WORRY - daughter number 2 is ahead of us driving herself and her boyfriend. I'm not worried about her driving ability, she is a good driver. I'm worried about the idiots on the road. Even as I type this, a man flies past us in an area where he is not allowed to overtake. He has kids in the car and is doing about 15-20 km over the speed limit. OMG! Why do people think accidents will never happen to them? How much more tragedy do we need to experience?

Christmas is one week away and this year in an ongoing effort to minimise my stress I have once again cut corners. This year I am refusing to buy any women's magazines which are full of pictures of decorated tables, Christmas recipes and perfectly wrapped gifts. After many years of doing this, I know how to organise the sort of Christmas my family enjoy and I don't need the magazines making me feel I'm not doing it right. May sound really silly for some, but Christmas is a pressure pot for many and those magazines are in my pressure pot.

Add to that present shopping. I thought I had it stitched up this year thanks to Internet shopping. Now I find that some internet purchases may not arrive in time for Christmas. Scream, yell, shout. Now what? Do I need to start in July to get stuff mailed on time? Ridiculous!

As we left Bali this week, the Balinese were getting ready to celebrate Galungan. This is a festival celebrating good over bad, so in keeping with this I want to share some good things that I've heard about this week which have really touched me.

* At the FEDs work, a lady stepped forward to pay a bill for a mother desperately trying to deal with shopping and children.

* In America a stranger has paid off all the christmas lay-bys in a store.

* The #illridewithyou has trended all around the world. Please look it up if you don't know what this is - australian mateship at its best.

* A video on YouTube (link below) showing kids in a third world country opening the Christmas shoebox presents which a lot of people world wide ( myself as well at times) have contributed to.

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=668868253230038&set=vb.477102562406609&type=2&theater

Yes I'm anxious and yes I worry...and sometimes these issues take on a life of their own and I feel worse. But amidst all this there are moments when you realise that there are good and happy things too, if our eyes are wide open and we are receptive.

Enjoy the lead up to Christmas

Till next time...xxx

BLOG NUMBER 100

Blog number 100. Yahoo!!!

I am sitting by the pool in my hotel in Bali with an iPad in one hand and a mojhito close by. It is off season here so I pretty much have the whole area and the waiter to myself. In three days the staff have become friends. They call the husband "boss" ( little do they know) and me "mama boss". It's hilarious. I might have to get a T shirt printed with Mama Boss for back home.

It's only my second time here but I'm seriously thinking of never going home ( only joking kids). The peace of this place is overwhelming. The people also tend to bring you back to what's important eg the husband asked a young waiter if he liked to drink Bintang beer. He replied it was too expensive for him. We are indeed a privileged lot to be able to easily afford what others see as luxuries. Another example - our pool waiter broke his flip flops and fixed them with a bit of rope because they still had wear in them. We are definitely a privileged lot and being here reminds us to practise gratitude and appreciation.

One thing I really like about Bali is that there is no need to rush. You are on Bali time. The husband asked reception ( P1) for more tea. He told person 2 ( P2) who rang P3 who gave the instruction to P4 who eventually arrived with the tea. Everyone has a role to play and it's no use getting frustrated. Initially it's annoying ( all I want are some bloody tea bags) but now you throw up your hands and know that what ever you want will happen eventually.

At lunch time today I listened to a tourist complain the cafe had no low fat milk. Complaining to the Balinese is a futile exercise. They either don't understand what's wrong or they stand there till you get over it and order something else. A few minutes later the grumpy customer had a yummy juice and was happy. No anger. No harsh exchange of words. No sweating the small stuff. Love it.

So yes, the reminders to be grateful, take my time and chill out are much needed.

It's been a shocker of a year - sick child, lots of travel, limited money, stress galore. But there have been good times too - the humour shared , the kindness shown to us by many, the success achieved whether in medical treatments or studies, the love of our families.

So, as the sun sets on another day in beautiful Bali, I thankyou for making 100 blogs possible and for helping me keep my head above water. Your support and your kind messages keep me going.

I'm out of mojhito.

Short blog today...till next time xxx

UP, UP AND AWAY

Ok Dad I apologise in advance for swearing, but 2014 has been a shit year. And while it's true you need to focus on the good and the positive, no matter what angle I look at it from, it's also true that this has been a positively shit year.

 To add to the general shittiness of it all, today is the 8th December, my 6th cancer anniversary. While the hurt is no longer as great as it once was and a general acceptance of what happened has settled in, the date always brings out the " what ifs".

What if that had been a normal day?

What if I never had a breast cancer diagnosis ?

What if I still had both breasts instead of these uncomfortable lumps of saline rubber?

What if...?

What if...?

What if...?

I swore back on the 8th December 2008 that on my anniversaries I would always do something special to reclaim that date. I've never failed and in the four anniversaries to date have celebrated with friends, had special dinners with family and one year I even had a luxurious spa treatment.

And today in keeping with the promise, I am writing this, kilometres up in the sky en route to the island of Bali. Just me and the husband ... no kids...for the first time in an eternity...22 years to be exact.

I'm out of practice. I don't know how to travel without the girls and I may or may not have shed a tear as we took off. Don't laugh. It's anxiety at its best.

What if something goes wrong?

What if someone gets sick?

What if someone has an accident?

What if our house gets broken into?

" Then we come back" says the husband. " Its only three and a half hours away".

So, Bali it is.

And because men know EVERYTHING, someone now has no deodorant and sunscreen.

And because I'm married to someone who sincerely believes that nothing can get done without a cup of tea and food first, we were running late.

And we argued at duty free.

And there was a queue for the toilets.

But nothing matters, because we're finally on the bloody plane where for the record tea, coffee and toasted sandwiches can be bought....cheaper! Oh the surprise of it all! 

And it doesn't matter because in a few hours I'll be lying by the pool sipping a cocktail. I'll be the one next to the sunburnt, deodorant less man so come say hello.

Till next time...xxx

*** MISS CIARA***

Being a Mum is the best gift I have ever received. For those of you only getting to know me recently, I am a Mum to two beautiful young women, whom I lovingly call the favourite eldest daughter (FED) and the favourite youngest daughter ( FYD). Yes they have names, but this way they always get to be my favourite!

Much has been written about the FED. Her story has spread to all parts of the world. But it's been a while ( probably a whole year since she finished school), since I've written about my other gal.

Introducing Miss Ciara, my little bundle of joy.  My talented, determined, headstrong, comical, loud bundle of joy. My favourite youngest daughter ( FYD).

This week the FYD reaches a milestone when she graduates from her year long intensive acting course. It's a huge achievement and one that has been completed against a backdrop of the most gut wrenching situations ever. In fact this backdrop has been going on for a while now. Agents, if you're looking for a determined, hardworking girl who soldiers on regardless, she's the one!

Let's back track.

She started high school with her Mum fighting breast cancer and finished high school five years later with her sister fighting for her life. In between the start and end of high school, family drama continued. I had four major surgeries and countless minor ones. Despite her Mum being frequently away ( which is hard for a young girl), she just kept plodding on, excelling in so many areas. Here are some of my favourite memories.

• She and her friend Nadene formed a singing duo that became well known in the Midwest, performing at various functions. They even performed as the support act for a band called Dragon, which if you're Australian you will know are music royalty.
• She is not only a talented singer/ actor but a talented dancer. I have spent hours driving her to and from lessons, sewing on sequins and sitting through rehearsals. But it was always worth it to see her on stage having a ball!
• She was Calamity Jane in the school musical in her last year of high school. This performance left everyone in no doubt that she was ACTUALLY Calamity herself in a previous life.

Thank God for the memories!

This week she graduates from the Actors Hub, Gap course which has taught her to push through barriers and continue to be the best possible actor she can be. There have been some spine tingling performances this year and also ones which have made me laugh out loud and wonder who this super talented woman on stage is.

And then I remember...and pinch the husband's hand to remind him...it's our daughter! There up on stage is the kid who:

• Ran away from home ( for half an hour) and lived near her Dads ute. She had a change of underwear and her teddy in a small bag.
• Would not do swimming lessons because she didn't like boy teachers.
• Would not wear dresses because they were too girly! 
• Cooked marshmallows in the inside potbelly stove with another naughty friend...cos they could.
• Tied the dog leash to a small table and then wondered why the aquarium on top came flying off.
• Sent a hotel staff into disarray looking for a lost teddy.
• Travelled around Europe at the age of 17

I could go on for ever!

This year has been the hardest, but amidst all the tragedy of a sick sister and the loss of a much loved cousin, she has managed to stay true to herself and push forward. She continues to aim high and ( I know it sounds corny) reach for the stars.

Congratulations sweetheart. 

May God bless you always and guide you to whatever is next.

Till next time...xxx ( have a look at the link below!)

https://www.facebook.com/actressciarataylor?pnref=storyCIARA

ABOUT TIME WE HAD SOME FUN!!!

This weekend my family will be guests at the Midwest Charity begins at Home ball. To say that we are all excited is an understatement. Actually its the women in this family who are excited. I'm not sure the husband will give it much thought till half an hour before he needs to throw on his suit! Men are so lucky!

I haven't been to a ball since 1985 - 29 years ago! It was a Science Union ball at university and I remember it clearly because my mother made me a beautiful ball dress, which she was still sewing while my friends were waiting for me outside! It was such a stunning  blue colour but I paired it (ruined it?) with black wrist gloves...why did I do that ???? What was I thinking!!!!

The dress, the gloves and an old friend who WILL forgive me for posting this...I hope !

Anyway, its now 2014 and as my mother no longer makes me clothes, I had to have someone else make something for me. It is so beautiful that I would actually be happy to just look at it rather than wear it.I'm seriously out of practice at this sort of stuff. You don't need to look too special while you're at home or wandering around a hospital. But the girls and I have been talking shoes, hair and makeup and the excitement is contagious. Its been a while since anything got us excited and its nice to know that for a while we're going to have fun and not think of doctors, hospitals and brain surgeries!

 The Midwest Charity begins at Home team fundraise continuously to support people like my daughter who are going through serious medical stuff. Last year when we had gone from two incomes to one, times were tough! It costs a serious amount of money to continually travel up and down the coast and those petrol costs never get cheaper!

Then there are medical costs, living in the city costs, hospital parking and bills, bills, bills!

When the girls at Midwest Charity begins at Home heard about our girl's plight they came through with some money to help her and us. Apart from everything I just mentioned, it also meant our daughter could take a short holiday when things were getting her down and to catch up with friends when she was well enough. Remember, she has been unable to work for most of the last 16 months and having no income limited what she could do. The sponsorship helped her a great deal to feel a bit normal...so important!
.
Thank you to everyone who works so hard in this charity. You are just fabulous and we are all so grateful!


 SATURDAY - BALL DAY

SUNDAY

 What a great night surrounded by some of the most generous people I have ever met. A whole load of money was raised for people who need it in our community. And as if they hadn't done enough. the FED ( favourite eldest daughter) was given a huge hamper of goodies and gifts. Plus she got a photo with a man who inspires her, Peter Fitzsimons, the compere of the night!

She is overwhelmed!
As are we all.

Lots of love and till next time...xxx